From my main man, the late Cirio H. Santiago, we have a movie that's right in his wheelhouse.  Hot women, brutal prison, The Philippines.  This is something Cirio knew how to do.  But these just aren't any old hot women we're talking about in his odd mix-mash 'The Muthers', no sir… we have Jeanne Bell, Rosane Katon and Jayne Kennedy.  Yes… that's what we have, even though Rosane kept her clothes on.  And even as a man who decries the blatant and gratuitous exploitation and objectification of women in cinema, this still made me sad. 

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Kelly (Bell) and Angela (Katon) are a couple of high seas raiders who ride on their gunship The Muthers with their loyal crew of pirates.  They steal from the rich and give back to themselves, and whatever is left they give it to the poor people of their village.  Why these two African American women are in control of Filipino gunship… who the hell knows.  Nobody's talking so we're not asking. 

After a successful raid, Kelly makes it back to camp to learn that her rebellious sister has run off and now she has to bring her back from wherever she is.  Problem is she has gotten herself caught in the prison camp of the completely evil Mr. Montiero (Tony Carreon), and to get her out… well… bear with me here.  So the town district attorney, or whatever the heck this dude was, needed somebody to infiltrate Montiero's organization as an indentured slave, prostitute, whore, rape victim.  Now while seems like a bum deal to me, in return Kelly gets her sister back and this law official will absolve them of all of their pirate crimes.  Now, since we were kind of paying attention, I don't think they needed this law officials help to become one of Montiero's prostitute, slave, rape victims since he takes pretty much anybody with breasts, and I don't think their crimes need absolution since he can't catch them anyway. 

So Kelly and Angela sign up for this crap gig, hang out at Montiero's Hell Hole for Women, meet their new best friend Marcie (Trina Parks) who informs them that this hole is even more hellish than it looks… except for Motniero's moll Serena (Jayne Kennedy).  Serena has the sweet end of the gig, gets to live in the big house, gets to eat like a couple of times a week unlike those other ladies, gets to ride the ponies and all she has to do is satisfy Montiero's fat ass and procure the right ladies for rape duty.  Now is that a sweet gig or what?

Not that none of this matters because Angela and Kelly have a solid plan to find her sister and then skate out.  Worst Plan Ever.  We're not going to worry about little sister, or the law official for that matter, and the plan has completely collapsed upon itself.  Kelly and Angela are toast.  Unless… unless maybe Serena the house ni… uh…. Not allowed to use that word even though Angela did… unless Serena the Kept Woman helps out.  Now we have four women on the run, in the woods, and a posse on their lovely asses.  Shootouts will ensue, sense making will cease.  Working on the assumption that it ever started.  Which it didn't.

The last Cirio we saw was his legendary film 'TNT Jackson' also starring Jeanne Bell, and while watching Jeanne swing from light fixtures topless had its appeal, the movie was pretty awful.  Now we don't want to give you the indication that 'The Muthers' was the second coming of 'The Shawshank Redemption' or anything since coherence is pretty key to any movie legitimately being called a good movie, but we have to admit we were consistently entertained by this nonsense for whatever reason.  Why was this?  Who knows.  Rosane Katon in motion helped, Jeanne topless once again didn't hurt, Jeanne looked like she added about fifteen pounds from TNT as couple of years prior, with the fifteen pounds going straight to her rump it would appear.  That too isn't an altogether bad thing.  Jayne Kennedy and her liberal interpretation of the craft of acting also made for some entertaining moments, though most of the real acting came from Trina Parks as Marcie. 

But what probably sold us on 'The Muthers' was that Cirio did keep the action coming fast and furious and nearly non-stop.  Cirio had shootouts galore, lots of fist fight and kung fu action, mostly featuring Jeanne Bell's masculine stunt double who was doing a lot of the flipping and kicking, though we have to give it up to Ms. Katon who looked like she was doing most of her own stunts in this one. 

So if one happened to be in the market for a 'Women in Prison', Women on the Run, kung fu, pirate movie with some of the finest quality sisters that the 1970's had to offer.  We present to you 'The Muthers'.  Nonsense at its best. 

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