thank the SyFy Channel, for in the year of 2013, they have
seriously curtailed the production and purchasing of their
SyFy original movies. Don't get us wrong here, for we
love the much maligned SyFy Channel original, but recognize,
that a lot like saccharine, too much SyFy original is bad for
you, and if they make them we will watch them. Thank you
SyFy for looking out for my health. Today we have the
SyFy Channel going for that J-Horror angle with their film
'Grave Halloween'. It's an awful title. When the
movie eventually gets dumped to bargain bin DVD, I doubt that
title will survive. What they will eventually call it,
who the hell knows,
Cassi is a
film student and for her senior thesis she is going to
document Maiko going to the forest where Maiko's mother killed
herself so she can film Maiko setting her mom free.
Apparently there is a forest in Japan where people go to
commit suicide. Crazy. Also along for the ride is
Sound Man Terry (Dejan Loyola) and cameraman Kyle (Graham
Cool. So these kids head out to the forest and
immediately start seeing dead people. Probably should
turn around and go home, but Amber has a paper to do and Maiko
has a soul to set free. Fortunately, they run into my
man Jin (Hiro Kanagawa) just wandering in the forest who will
first advise them to leave, but then kind of guide them
through the forest, constantly reminding them to Respect the
Dead. What's not Respecting the Dead is pretending to
hang from a tree and then chasing people in the forest.
This is what Maiko's uber-obnoxious friends from school
did. They are going to die for sure. More than
likely everybody is going to die, but those dead-disrespecting
loons are going to die for sure.
So our kids traipse the in woods, they see dead people, they
are terrorized, they run, and eventually a good number of them
are going to bite the dust. Now we are a little
concerned about Maiko's mom because where I come from, calling
annoying kids to the woods to help free your soul, and then
having these annoying kids die and stuff just isn't good
looking out. Still, Maiko wants to help mom out.
Good luck with that Maiko.
'Grave Halloween' is directed by veteran Sci-Fi original
director Steven R. Monroe. I think this is his tenth
SyFy movie. Between Steve, Paul Ziller, Sheldon Wilson,
Jason Borque, Griff Furst and Todor Chapkanov, they have this
Sci-Fi Channel directing thing covered. Just throwing
this out there, but if any you guys wouldn't mind inviting a
brother on set… just saying. I think I've earned it.
But back to 'Grave Halloween'… Let's just say I appreciate the
effort. I mean pale Japanese chicks with unwashed hair
are pretty scary, right? This is a proven fact, and the
forest location and dark lighting did make for a grim
atmosphere, for the most part. But despite the plethora
of pale Japanese chicks floating in and of the scenery, and
the afore mentioned grim atmosphere, I wasn't all that scared
or intimidated while watching 'Grave Halloween'. I gotta
say I wasn't too terribly entertained either because at the
end of the day, despite the fertile watering ground of a
forest with lots of dead people terrorizing annoying young
people, 'Grave Halloween' turned out to be just a generic hunt
and slash horror movie featuring annoying kids who can barely
act, with bad cell phone service, getting hunted and
slashed. We've seen that before.
That being said, there is the mystery of what exactly Maiko's
mom wants, and the resolution to that mystery was quite
satisfying, even surprising. That was appreciated.
Of course, the resolution to the resolution of the mystery was
more annoying young people getting hunted and slashed, but we
still appreciated the fact that the movie had something in it
we didn't see coming.
'Grave Halloween' or 'Forest of Death' or whatever they are
going to call this movie next year when it hits VOD had its
moments, like who can ever argue with a pale, deteriorating
Japanese chick swinging a three pronged garden hoe at people
we don't mind seeing dead… but we ended up with the same run
of the mill stuff we always get. Opportunity missed.
but I can
almost guarantee you it will having nothing to do with the
movie. Say like the awful SyFy movie 'Abonimable
Snowman' which was renamed to 'Deadly Descent'.
Eh… what's in a title anyway?
It's Halloween at the International University in Japan
somewhere and Maiko is waking up from a bad dream. Maiko
is being played by the phenomenally easy to look at Kaitlyn
Leeb, who we knew as Kaitlyn Wong from one of those 'Wrong
Turn' movies, which I think would make her more Chinese
Japanese, but hell… she's Asian-ish so she got the gig.
Also, we assume the former Ms. Wong married some dude named
Leeb since I don't see changing your name from Wong to Leeb as
adding to ones marketability. Regardless, way to go Mr.
Okay, let's focus on this movie. Maiko, adopted by
Americans, is always having dreams about her dead Japanese
mom, and has figured that her mom is reaching out to
her. So on this day Maiko is going to throw her good
friend Amber (Cassi Thomson) a solid.