Reviewed by

Christopher Armstead

I really did like the first ‘Feast’. Personally, I thought it was clever, violent, funny, ridiculous, smart, stupid and stylish and at times had me shaking my head in the theater at the brass of it all. You see I actually saw this movie in a theater… and an arthouse theater at that. Despite my warm feeling toward John Gulager’s ‘Project Greenlight’ award winning film I gotta admit there wasn’t a lot of excitement from me with this Direct to DVD sequel, ‘Feast II: Sloppy Seconds’ from Dimension Extreme, because quite honestly, what more could Gulager do? Well… not a hell of a lot except basically tell the same story but this time opening up the environment a bit, throw in a few titties that were inexplicably missing from the first movie…this considering the presence of Krista Allen in the first film who’s never been the shyest girl in the neighborhood, and yes… quadruple the gore.

Taking place after what I’m guessing is the morning after the first movie ended, we meet the twin sister of one of the dead characters from the last movie in the completely off her rocker Biker Queen (Diane Goldner) who sees a dog running around in the desert with her sister’s severed hand in its mouth. Queen completely eviscerates this dog with four shotgun blasts, Stumbles upon The Bartender (Clu Gulager) hiding under a wrecked car, who managed to survive the last movie. She then proceeds to beat the hell out him until he tells her what happened to her sister, and against The Bartender’s sage advice takes her crew back to the city so she can find and murderize the man who blew up her sister. None of that information about the evil canabilistic raping monsters waiting for them in this town seemed to matter to her much.

Now my orientation is a bit discombobulated in relation to the first movie, but there seems to be way more stuff in this town than I remember from the last time. Regardless, the remaining townsfolk apparently didn’t get the memo that there are crazed monsters eating people and raping cats – as in felines - as pure mayhem and

chaos has ensued. Eventually we will be left again with some rather colorful characters who include dwarf jugador brothers Thunder (Martin Klebba) Lightning (Jose Longoria Garcia) and their granny, profane used car salesman Slasher (Carl Anthony Payne II), his cheating wife Secrets (Hannah Putman), Slahser’s top car salesman and inquisitive monster dissector Greg (Tom Gulager) who also happens to be poking Slashers wife, and lastly the duplicitous Honey Pie (Jenny Wade) who we all remember for her less than heroic acts in the first film. And if we don’t remember, The Bartender certainly does as he introduces Honey Pies rather lovely face to the porcelain end of a toilet about forty times.

A lot of stuff is going on but essentially, just like the last movie, this flick is about our colorful group of anti-heroes trying to avoid these monsters, whatever they are, until morning when allegedly someone is coming to save them. Good luck with that.

A lot of the elements that made the original ‘Feast’ entertaining to me were in this film as well, but the problem is that what I thought was fresh and clever in the first movie just isn’t so fresh and clever anymore. Now this isn’t to say that director John Gulager rested on his laurels. Oh hell no. Though it is basically more of the same, the new film is bigger badder meaner and much dirtier than the first film. It’s just not better. There are more monsters, and they are much nastier here than the first time around, as if that were possible, the characters are more over the top, though most of them lack even a hint of redeemable charm… except possibly the dwarf jugadores. Especially Martin Klebba who literally steals the movie. And then we have the gore. I’ve seen a couple of these Dimension Extreme movies and this one here is probably the first one truly worthy of the adjective Extreme. Or is that an adverb? Where’s Grammar Rock when you need it? There was a lot extreme grossness and violence in this flick involving, among other things, dogs, babies, and monster genitalia. There was a scene where our heroes had to dissect one of the monsters that had to involve every possible bodily excretion, real and imagined, ever. And it went on forever. And herein lies my problem with ‘Feast II’ because while the violence and gore didn’t offend me… including the baby, it did become tedious after a while and gave the film the feeling that it would never freaking end. Eventually it just became grossness for the sake grossness as none of it did a damn thing to help further an already incredibly thin story line.

The movie also ends on a bit of cliff hanger of sorts, but don’t you worry because Gulager shot ‘Feast III’ at the same time as ‘Feast II’ so I’m guessing we won’t have to wait too long to see more mindless slaughter, excretions, gaseous expellings, beheadings, bestial rapings and bloody entrail explosions. And as much as I didn’t really care for this movie, I’ll be among the first to see the next one. Damn.

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