The words “PG-13” and “Horror Movie” are two words that simply don’t go together in my book.  And even though I’m not a huge horror movie buff, if I got to go see one, then there had best be breast and blood, or some combination of the two, and lots of it.  So when I got to sit down to see Dimension Films ‘Feast’ with it’s R-rating emblazoned across it’s poster, I guessing things are going to get bloody and maybe even a breast or two might pop out.

Those of you familiar with ‘Project Greenlight’ know that it is a competition sponsored by actors Matt Damon and Ben Affleck in which individuals send in their scripts with an opportunity to compete to have it funded and filmed.  The first two seasons, which aired on HBO were interesting, and the movies got made, but they were ‘those kinds of movies’.  The odd little quirky character studies which is basically the hallmark of independent films.  Some of these types films are good, some are bad, but almost nobody goes to the theater to see them.  Even if you love these odd little character films, you know they’ll be popping up on IFC or the Sundance Channel and will probably be more than willing to wait till then to see them there, as opposed to dragging your ass out to the movie theater. The point is, nobody went to see ‘Stolen Summer’ or the ‘Battle of Shaker Heights’.  So HBO dropped the show.

The third season of Project Greenlight was picked up by Bravo, and this time the powers that be decided to attempt to produce a movie that hopefully somebody would actually want to go to theater and see.  The end result is Greenlight winner John Gulager’s horror / monster flick ‘Feast’ and if you like bloody horror movies, then I think you’ll like this one.

Feast takes place in an isolated bar in a dusty rundown southwestern looking town with an odd assortment of characters, each one introduced to us with the use of clever freeze frames that includes a short bio and the characters life expectancy.  Soon, a character known only as ‘The Hero’ burst in carrying a shotgun and informs the patrons that it’s about to rain hell and tosses the mangled head of a horrific monster on the floor.  No sooner than that’s done does the blood begin to fly fast and furious.  Think ‘Assault on Precient 13’ (the original, that is) meets ‘Dog Soldiers’, then double the blood, heighten the gore, and put it on a roller coaster riding out of control down a steep hill and you have an idea of what your in for with ‘Feast’.

Though there may be the occasional head getting ripped off, and a dismemberment here and there, ‘Feast’ also has quite a bit of humor infused within its bloody core.  Henry Rollins is quite funny as a low rent Tony Robbins wannabe motivational speaker, and Kevin Smith staple Jason Mewes makes a somewhat brief, but hilarious cameo as, well, Jason Mewes.  Since this is an independent film and such, is not locked into what we’ve come to expect from Hollywood movies.  The filmmakers took quite a few liberties in throwing convention out the window and came up with a few wonderful and shocking surprises.

Truth be told, there’s really nothing bad to say about ‘Feast’ other than the story is far from original.  But whattayagonnado.  Yeah there were people trapped in a room and couldn’t get out... Alien, Dusk to Dawn, Dog Soldiers, ect. ect…but it seems to be a formula that works if handled right and it was definitely handled properly in ‘Feast’.  No breast popped out though.  Some threatened to pop out, but none did.  Alas.