Reviewed By

Christopher Armstead
For years, we here at the FCU have lamented the death of the hyper violent theatrical action movie as it is just not something that current demographic really goes for.  Then a little while back we had 'The Heat', a buddy cop action movie but one that had the gimmick, for lack of a better word, of casting women in the leads.  That seemed to work.  The demographic went for that.  Like they didn't go for 'Bullet to the Head' or 'The Last Stand' or 'Parker' or any number of action filled theatrical flops.  But today we have '2 Guns', based on some graphic novel… write a graphic novel you people out there because apparently that's where Hollywood is mining for its cinematic concepts nowadays.  And '2 Guns' is a buddy action movie with a pair of leads in Denzel Washington and Mark Wahlberg who could charm the underwear off of a flock of nuns.  Will the demographic go for it?  I don't know, but I did.  For the most part.  I guess.

Denzel is Bobby and Marky Mark is Stig, a pair of criminals setting up dope deals and robbing banks.  But you've seen the trailer and you know already that Bobby is an undercover DEA agent and Stig is undercover Naval Law enforcement, though neither one of them are aware of what the other does for a living.  Initially, I think Bobby and Stig were planning to bring down big time Mexican dope dealer Papi Greco (James Edward Olmos) but something went wrong with that, so instead they decided to rob a bank, where Papi Greco keeps his money, and just bring down each other.  I can't remember what purpose that would serve, outside of upsetting Papi Greco greatly, but we're rolling with it.

So Bobby and Stig rob this small time bank to snatch Papi's 3 mil, but unfortunately it's a lot more than that.  It's way too much money for anybody to steal and be comfortable that their life is remotely safe.  But whose money is it?  Well I'm not sure, but Mr. Earl (Bill Paxton)
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sure is looking for it, and he will kill just about anything to get it back.  This is also about the time Bobby and Stig kind of reveal themselves to each other with Stig putting a bullet in Bobby's shoulder and running off with the cash.  This doesn't make Bobby happy. 

Now it gets kind of convoluted but to make it a little simple, Bobby works for DEA agent Deb Rees (Paula Patton), who he's also kind of doing on the side, and she might be up to something.  Stig works for Major Quince (Matthew Mardsen) who claims they need this money for something or another, but he's probably lying.  So even though Stig shot Bobby, it looks like they are going to have to work together to get to the bottom of the conspiracy. 

What do Bobby and Stig learn about the big conspiracy?  A lot actually, but the truth of the matter is that none of it is really important.  The important thing is that an awful lot of people are going to get shot to death.  That's all you really need to know.  2 guns?  Seriously?  Try 8.6 bazillion guns.  But I guess that doesn't look right on a movie marquis.

So… before we get started on '2 Guns', this is actually an open question one Pauletta Washington.  Now, Pauletta and Denzel have been married since pretty much the beginning of time, thus I know their love thing is as strong as steel, but in back to back movies this woman had to watch her husband roll around in the bed with a naked Nadine Velasquez (Flight), then with a naked Paula Patton.  And even by Hollywood standards, these two women are not normal.  That can't be easy to watch.  For her.  Because it was surprisingly easy for me to watch.   I know it's just a movie, but how does Denzel even explain that off?  "It's just a role baby.  Besides, that's not me grabbing Paula's ass, that's my character".    Somebody should ask Mrs. Washington this the next time they see her.

'2 Guns'.  Good movie.  Check that.  Okay movie, with two really dynamic stars that make it a good movie.  Back to comparing it to 'The Heat', '2 Guns' did have a better story to work with, though it was nonsensical and plot hole ridden, but the love story between our two same sex characters in this movie was a little more equal, as opposed to watching Sandra Bullock get crushed under the comedic weight of Melissa McCarthy.  So to speak.  And like any decent buddy cop movie, it is a love story.  Boys are together, boys break up… when one boy shoots the other boy… then the boys get back together to kill everybody.  If that doesn't get you all misty, then you just don't have a heart.

Director Baltasar Kormakur keeps his action fast and furious and hyper violent, the supporting cast was effective in doing what they do, Bill Paxton playing a douche, James Edward Olmos playing an oppressive authority figure, and Paula Patton playing sleepy sexy.  Those actors can do that in their sleep.

Now there are some holes in the logical flow this movie, but I'm thinking that this is due to some harsh edits and somewhere on a cutting room floor is where this logic lies, but to keep the length of this movie manageable, does one cut out logic or does one cut out Denzel and Marky Mark interacting with each other?  Considering the entire budget of this movie probably went to paying these two, that's a no brainer.  Plus these two really, really play off each other very well.  It's gonna cost, but someone might want to think about sticking these two together in another movie sometime soon.  Maybe '2 Guns 2'.  Or '3 Guns'.  Or whatever they'd call sequel.

'2 Guns' was high quality, well acted, explosive, violent, total nonsense.  Now that's entertainment.
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