For years, we here at the FCU have lamented
the death of the hyper violent theatrical action movie as it
is just not something that current demographic really goes
for. Then a little while back we had 'The Heat',
a buddy cop action movie but one that had the gimmick, for
lack of a better word, of casting women in the leads.
That seemed to work. The demographic went for
that. Like they didn't go for 'Bullet
to the Head' or 'The
Last Stand' or 'Parker' or any
number of action filled theatrical flops. But today we
have '2 Guns', based on some graphic novel… write a graphic
novel you people out there because apparently that's where
Hollywood is mining for its cinematic concepts nowadays.
And '2 Guns' is a buddy action movie with a pair of leads in
Denzel Washington and Mark Wahlberg who could charm the
underwear off of a flock of nuns. Will the demographic
go for it? I don't know, but I did. For the most
part. I guess.
Denzel is Bobby and Marky Mark is Stig, a pair of criminals
setting up dope deals and robbing banks. But you've seen
the trailer and you know already that Bobby is an undercover
DEA agent and Stig is undercover Naval Law enforcement, though
neither one of them are aware of what the other does for a
living. Initially, I think Bobby and Stig were planning
to bring down big time Mexican dope dealer Papi Greco (James
Edward Olmos) but something went wrong with that, so instead
they decided to rob a bank, where Papi Greco keeps his money,
and just bring down each other. I can't remember what
purpose that would serve, outside of upsetting Papi Greco
greatly, but we're rolling with it.
So Bobby and Stig rob this small time bank to snatch Papi's 3
mil, but unfortunately it's a lot more than that. It's
way too much money for anybody to steal and be comfortable
that their life is remotely safe. But whose money is
it? Well I'm not sure, but Mr. Earl (Bill Paxton)
sure is looking for it, and he will kill just
about anything to get it back. This is also about the
time Bobby and Stig kind of reveal themselves to each other
with Stig putting a bullet in Bobby's shoulder and running off
with the cash. This doesn't make Bobby happy.
Now it gets kind of convoluted but to make it a little simple,
Bobby works for DEA agent Deb Rees (Paula Patton), who he's
also kind of doing on the side, and she might be up to
something. Stig works for Major Quince (Matthew Mardsen)
who claims they need this money for something or another, but
he's probably lying. So even though Stig shot Bobby, it
looks like they are going to have to work together to get to
the bottom of the conspiracy.
What do Bobby and Stig learn about the big conspiracy? A
lot actually, but the truth of the matter is that none of it
is really important. The important thing is that an
awful lot of people are going to get shot to death.
That's all you really need to know. 2 guns?
Seriously? Try 8.6 bazillion guns. But I guess
that doesn't look right on a movie marquis.
So… before we get started on '2 Guns', this is actually an
open question one Pauletta Washington. Now, Pauletta and
Denzel have been married since pretty much the beginning of
time, thus I know their love thing is as strong as steel, but
in back to back movies this woman had to watch her husband
roll around in the bed with a naked Nadine Velasquez (Flight),
then with a naked Paula Patton. And even by Hollywood
standards, these two women are not normal. That can't be
easy to watch. For her. Because it was
surprisingly easy for me to watch. I know it's
just a movie, but how does Denzel even explain that off?
"It's just a role baby. Besides, that's not me grabbing
Paula's ass, that's my character". Somebody
should ask Mrs. Washington this the next time they see her.
'2 Guns'. Good movie. Check that. Okay
movie, with two really dynamic stars that make it a good
movie. Back to comparing it to 'The Heat', '2 Guns' did
have a better story to work with, though it was nonsensical
and plot hole ridden, but the love story between our two same
sex characters in this movie was a little more equal, as
opposed to watching Sandra Bullock get crushed under the
comedic weight of Melissa McCarthy. So to speak.
And like any decent buddy cop movie, it is a love story.
Boys are together, boys break up… when one boy shoots the
other boy… then the boys get back together to kill
everybody. If that doesn't get you all misty, then you
just don't have a heart.
Director Baltasar Kormakur keeps his action fast and furious
and hyper violent, the supporting cast was effective in doing
what they do, Bill Paxton playing a douche, James Edward Olmos
playing an oppressive authority figure, and Paula Patton
playing sleepy sexy. Those actors can do that in their
Now there are some holes in the logical flow this movie, but
I'm thinking that this is due to some harsh edits and
somewhere on a cutting room floor is where this logic lies,
but to keep the length of this movie manageable, does one cut
out logic or does one cut out Denzel and Marky Mark
interacting with each other? Considering the entire
budget of this movie probably went to paying these two, that's
a no brainer. Plus these two really, really play off
each other very well. It's gonna cost, but someone might
want to think about sticking these two together in another
movie sometime soon. Maybe '2 Guns 2'. Or '3
Guns'. Or whatever they'd call sequel.
'2 Guns' was high quality, well acted, explosive, violent,
total nonsense. Now that's entertainment.