Reviewed By

Christopher Armstead
Six movies in.  That's pretty amazing when you think about it because I'm pretty sure no one thought that 'Wrong Turn' would turn into a franchise in the first place, much less a franchise that I actually enjoy.  More or less.  But now we are in for a bit of a change as the director for the last three sequels, Declan O'Brien, has jumped ship and turned over the controls to one Valeri Milev.  O'Brien clearly left Milev with a basic outline of what to do with this movie, that being lots of boobs and brutal murders, but something seemed to be missing this time around.  Not the boobs and the murders, those were certainly there, but something else.

So what we have observed up to this point with these 'Wrong Turn' movies is that they tend to emulate other movies, albeit with inbred cannibalistic hillbillies inserted.  So whereas 'Wrong Turn 5' was cannibals meet 'Assault on Precinct 13', this is cannibals meets 'The Grand Budapest Hotel' or something along those lines.  Our filmmakers get the boobs and murder out of the way in the first scene where we happen upon a very healthy young lady and her man riding their mountain bikes in the backwoods of Bulgaria pretending to be some Southern American state.  They run across a hot spring, get naked, do that nature thing, then promptly get hunted, slashed gutted and beheaded by three finger and his brothers.  By this time you would think the word would be out that biking, hiking, jogging, or driving through these woods is not advised, but alas this is clearly not the case.

We won't concern ourselves too much with today's batch of disposable young adults, just Danny (Anthony Illott) and his lady love Toni (Aqueela Zoll).  Danny is a failed Wall Street trader who just learned he is adopted and has inherited a large hotel somewhere in West Virginia, so he drags his girlfriend and a bunch of disposable but attractive young adults to survey this rather amazing structure.  Waiting for Danny most anxiously are some of his long lost kin in brother / sister / lovers Jackson (Chris Jarvis) and Sally (Sadie Katz).  Why are they waiting for Danny?  Not quite sure… something to do with inbreeding and cannibalism I would imagine. 
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So Danny gets the lay of the land, learns about his roots and stuff, his friends do obnoxious stuff while at the hotel, like steal stuff and engage in sex in odd places… usually when they have sex, Sally is hiding somewhere watching because Sally really likes to watch… until eventually the friends and the girlfriend find out that everything going on in this place isn't exactly what it seems.  I mean it is what it seems to us, that they will all be brutally slaughtered and eaten, but it's a total surprise to them.  The question that needs answered this time around is will Danny embrace the family business of inbreeding and cannibalism, or will he look out for his friends and help them make it out the Grand Hotel alive?  Well, if you've observed the way these 'Wrong Turn' movies go, chances are you already know the answer to this basic question.

Here's one question I have for Three Finger and his brethren, in that they seem to eat people meat exclusively.  I mean I've never seen them eat a little salad or corn on the cob or maybe another meat like chicken.  The cool thing about chickens is if one comes up missing, their pictures usually aren't put on bulletin boards, say like the overflowing bulletin board we saw here in fake West Virginia.  Maybe it's time to bring in homeland security for this issue.

What we are trying to figure out here, personally, is why did we find Wrong Turns 4 and 5 oddly entertaining , but found this one strangely inert?  The basics of boobs and brutality were there, but what was missing?  I'm thinking what was mainly missing was Three Finger and his brothers and the mayhem and carnage they cause.  There was some of it, but not enough of it.  They were supporting characters in their own movie.

This particular episode expands somewhat on the family of Three Finger and them, with 'Wrong Turn 5' introducing us to the inbred, deformed kids Uncle Maynard.  Now that was cool in the last movie if for no other reason than Douglas Bradley and his character of Uncle Maynard was truly something to see.  Chris Jarvis and Sadie Katz as cousins Jackson and Sally were good, especially Sadie Katz, but neither of them brought the manic mayhem of Uncle Maynard which made it far more acceptable for the audience to be away from the trio of cannibal brothers for extended periods of time.  This also meant we spent far more time with obnoxious, disposable young adults who haven't yet learned how to act yet.  Mind you, young actors who haven't learned to act yet are also a staple of these 'Wrong Turn' sequels, but it seemed more pronounced this time around. 

Still, while we were ultimately a little disappointed in this particular episode of the 'Wrong Turn' series, we do understand that none of the sequels, outside of 'Wrong Turn 2' in my opinion, are really 'good' movies in the classic sense.  So with this said, this one does manage to get the basics right.  Boobs and brutality.  Maybe 'Wrong Turn 7' will fix what 'Wrong Turn 6' forgot to put into the mix.
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