Think Like a Man

Reviewed by

Christopher Armstead

So let me start out by saying how pleased I am at how successful this movie ‘Think Like a Man’ is turning out to be. Take note Hollywood, there is a market for the underrepresented masses out there, and all you have to do is make it and they will come. Or at least the women will come and if that woman is attached to a man, he’ll probably be dragged along too. This random, hypothetical man we’re talking about might STRONGLY encourage his woman to see if one of her girlfriends would rather go with her, mentioning that they could go see ‘The Avengers’ together in a couple of weeks, which we know she’ll like even though she’ll complain about it all the way there, but no… this woman will FORCE this poor man, who has never done nothing to nobody, to go see this movie with her. Now this poor man is trapped in a theater for two and a half hours worth of back and forth romantic comedy, where every woman in the movie gets what they wanted anyway. Didn’t need to sit through two plus hours to get to this unavoidable conclusion. At least this is what this hypothetical man who was dragged to this movie might be thinking. I guess. I don’t know. Just hypothetically throwing it out there.

Cedric (Kevin Hart) is about to be divorced, Zeke (Romany Malco) is the player, Dominic (Michael Ealy) is a wayward dreamer, Jeremy (Jerry Ferrara) won’t grow up, Michael (Terence Jenkins) is a momma’s boy and Bennett (Michael Owens) is just some random guy who adds a little diversity and a little foundation as the one guy that is relatively happily married. These cats are best friends and as far as we can tell life is swell for these guys.

Then there are the ladies such as Lauren (Taraji P. Henson) who is crazy successful and looking for a successful man, and she has a best friend in Candace (Regina Hall), a divorcee with a six year old boy who needs a man that can accept her son. Then there’s Mya (Meagan Good) who is tired of men hitting it and immediately quitting it, and finally we have Kristen (Gabrielle Union) who is the girlfriend of Jeremy the guy who won’t grow up, upset that they’ve been together for nine years and he won’t pop the question or get a decent job. This is a woman who looks exactly like Gabrielle Union… Okay, we’ll go along that she has to tolerate this. What choice do we have? Regardless, the lovelies are struggling.

Have you heard of the book ‘Act like a Lady, Think like a Man’ written by Steve Harvey? Apparently this traitorous whackjob has a textbook for the ladies to trick their men into becoming whatever they want them to become. I don’t know if this next part is true or not, but as far as this movie is concerned it’s flying off the shelves and women from all walks of life have their highlighters out, are taking notes and they are changing the game.

Lauren, Miss Success meets Dominic the Dreamer, and while Dominic isn’t quite who he says he is, he can be molded a bit. Kristin has finally got the template to light a fire under Jeremy’s ass to get that ass in high gear. Mya has met Zeke the Player, and while it usually takes Zeke 90 minutes to get up in that, he’s going to have to wait 90 days to taste Mya’s cookie. Then there’s Candace who has met Michael the mama’s boy, and Michael loves her son and is just about perfect… but his mom… their relationship is something that almost no woman can deal with… but Steve has a plan for her too. Don’t you Steve?

Next thing you know these men aren’t all that happy anymore, doing things they don’t want to do, like being responsible and honest, and it’s all Steve Harvey’s fault. Until they get a copy of the book and flip it on them. Yeah! But I’m guessing while they thought they were happy the way things were, they really weren’t, even if it looked that way. They’ll be much happier being manipulated and tricked. Who wouldn’t? Roll credits.

Let’s assume I know this hypothetical cat that was dragged to this movie theater, and let’s say this guys wife says ‘Maybe I should get a copy of that book?’ This guy probably said ‘that’s not necessary honey, I already do whatever the hell you want. Like miss the NBA playoffs on this fine Sunday to come see this movie with you’. If anybody needs a book written for them it’s me. I mean that hypothetical cat I might know.

That stuff cast aside, ‘Think Like a Man’ was an enjoyable enough movie I guess. Yes, there were far too many characters and these characters were far too broadly drawn, since they all fit into a one or two word synopsis of each other, but if the characters were detailed anymore than they were, then that would’ve meant the movie would’ve been longer, and we certainly didn’t want that. Oh hell no. But the actors playing these broad characters were so darned appealing and engaging and genuine in this bloated nonsense that it made the movie appealing by default.

This isn’t to say that director Tim Story’s movie couldn’t have used some select trimming, say like every time Steve Harvey popped on screen to quote himself. I mean we know he wrote the book, the characters in the movie quote the book repeatedly, so do we really need the guy who wrote it to pop up and quote himself? I don’t think so. It’s all a little on the self-indulgent side, but I guess it’s not often a Self-Help book gets transformed into a movie so it’s all new. Thus if Dr. Dave Dyer or Suze Orman decide to make a movie about one of their books, don’t show up in it and quote yourself. Don’t do it.

But like I mentioned earlier, I’m overjoyed that movie is doing bang up business and that more people seem to like it than don’t. I wish I would’ve liked it more, but then… a movie based on a book called ‘Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man’ probably wasn’t made with me in mind, now was it?