Reviewed By

Christopher Armstead
Want to know why I watched this movie 'The Prophecy II'? Because when I was at the Dollar General a few months back, and I saw this movie in their bargain bin for one dollar. A greenback. A sawbuck. You can't beat that with a stick. So I bought it, and a few other choice titles, and figured I'd watch it, at least after I saw the first Prophecy. And was this movie worth a dollar? Well, considering I saw what I think could've possibly been a flash of a Jennifer Beals side-boob… then yes, it was more than worth that dollar.

The last time we saw the angel Gabriel (Christopher Walken), Satan was eating his heart and dragging him into hell. Apparently, having Gabriel around is absolutely no fun so Satan was like "I don't where you gonna go, but you have to get the hell outta here", so just as he was cast out of heaven, Gabriel is now cast out of hell. It blows when no one wants you. Speaking from experience over here.

We will get back to Gabriel in a bit, but this film concerns the plight of the nurse Valerie Rosales (Beals) who was minding her own business when some random super handsome dude fell out the sky and landed on her car. Now for full disclosure, I have no particular views on the handsomeness of one Russell Wong, but years ago I was at a dinner with a friend and his girl kept going on and on and on about how beautiful Mr. Wong was. Heck if I know how that conversation came up, but it was really annoying. They are not together anymore.

Anyway, nurse Valerie takes this cat to her hospital, his name Danyael, spelled all biblical like, he heals crazy-fast for someone who just fell out the sky, it's not lost on Valerie that this dude is super handsome and a fast and furious one night stand shall ensue. Followed by Danyael getting the heck out there in the morning, followed by an unwanted pregnancy. As you probably know, Danyael is in angel and somehow knocking up this woman will finally bring an end to the war in heaven. Don't ask how, because I don't know how.
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Back to Gabriel, he's up to his old tricks doing that thing he does, he's gone and found a new reluctant ghoul in Izzy (the late Brittany Murphy), and he's discovered the existence of Valerie and her situation and he needs to end it. Again, similar to the first movie, the details of why any of this is has to happen is lost on me.

The good thing for Valerie is that Danyael didn't just hit that and quit that as he is looking out for her, even taking her to his boss the Arch Angel Michael (Eric Roberts), who we have to admit is completely worthless. I was seriously looking for a legendary showdown between living legends Christopher Walken and Eric Roberts but I did not get that. I got the Arch Angel Michael saying some cryptic nonsense, stepping to the side to let Gabriel kill this woman, and completely washing his hand of this mess. Very disappointing. Not that any of this changes the fact that Gabriel will no doubt fail again in his efforts to end the age of man. Again, I don't know why any of this is happening.

Directed by Greg Spence this time around, let's look at the Tale of the Tape in relation to the first movie. Amazingly, this movie might be a little more lucid than the first movie, while also leaving me just as baffled as to what the endgame to any of this is. This movie also had a lot more action than the first movie, with the director cramming in as much run and chase action as he could, considering the reduced budget and the brief running time. We could also say that Jennifer Beals is arguably hotter than Virginia Madsen, though I'm not going to argue with anyone who disagrees with this, and one could also argue that Russell Wong is handsomer than Elias Koteas. Again, no argument from me if someone wants to argue this. And most importantly, we still have the Walken Factor doing that thing that ONLY Christopher Walken can do. I don't even think there's a description or definition of that thing, but he's the only one capable of doing it.

Thus it pains me to say that despite the increased action and the arguably better looking people… albeit less talented people… not so arguable… 'The Prophecy II' was kind of lacking. It's not like the first movie was gangbusters or anything, but it did have this deadly seriousness about it that did its best to trick you into thinking that that something important was going on. Especially when Viggo showed up sprouting vitriol. This movie had the feel of what it was, that being a shot on the quick, on the cheap, assembly line project to close out a year end budget for some movie studio.

Everything about this movie was run of the mill. The action, the performances, the setup… but I will say the narrative was a little unique with the concept that bastard angel babies will save us all in some way, and of course we still have Christopher Walken hanging out, and despite where he might be in a movie… directed by Spielberg, Tarantino or this dude, Walken is going to bring his best. We call that 'professionalism' where I come from.

'The Prophecy II' isn't a bad movie, not really, it just kind of feels like an insignificant one. Sure, almost all movies are insignificant, but most just don't feel that way. But if one is a Walken completest, this is still something to see.
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