Reviewed By

Christopher Armstead
There he goes again causing a ruckus, and of course we're talking about Satan.  We could ask ourselves, at least when it comes to movies, where God is while Satan is crawling around impregnating virgin girls who like to read The Bible… but then I guess that would defeat the whole Demon Possession thing, wouldn't it?  Today's Demon Possession movie, a genre which looks to be experiencing some kind of 21st century renaissance, is 'The Devil In Me' which is a very nice looking movie featuring some very nice looking people that unfortunately commits the mortal sin of being terribly dull.

Alex (Michelle Argyris) is young, pretty, has a nice little tight rack and is as pure as the first snow of winter.  She's just returned home from visiting her sick granny and was picked up by her awesome BFF and roommate Jessica (Shantelle Canzanese) who has informed Alex that she's moved them into brand new house that is four times as plush as their old crib… at the same price.  Can you say 'Devil House'.

Waiting for them at the new house is Alex's boyfriend Brian (Kevin Jake Walker) and her other ultra bitchy roommate Bree (Vanessa Broze).  Unfortunately Brian is actually inside of Bree at the moment, something a good boyfriend probably shouldn't do, but he manages to duck out the window before they come in and then re-enter as if everything is all right.  We did mention that Alex is pure and since Bree is all slutty and stuff… whaddayagonnado?

So the house is sweet, Alex has the biggest room in the attic and all is well… that is until Alex and Jessica stopped off at the soothsayer after a wild party.  Never recommended.  Everybody freaks out, Alex collapses and her little life will never be the same because the devil done got up insider her.  Actually I think he was inside her before she went to the soothsayer, but whatever. 
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Now Satan, I guess, is getting down to the serious business of severely messing with Alex's head by playing with lighting switches, leaving satanic doodles in her notebook, molesting her in her sleep, going bump in the night, cutting her, and occasionally defacing her perfect cleavage.  Is any of this necessary?  Of course it isn't, but we know that Satan is nothing if not a dick.  I mean we dig that he wants to impregnate the girl to unleash an evil the likes of which the world has never seen, but how does cutting her titties help in that cause?  Seriously Satan?

By now, as you would imagine, Alex is a total wreck.  Her BFF is worried sick, her bitchy roomate thinks she's a freak and her boyfriend thinks it's all just a clever ploy to avoid giving up that ass.  In the annals of understanding boyfriends, Brian is at the bottom of that list.  It's looking like the only thing that can help Alex, looking super possessed about now and speaking in Autotune, is an exorcism from a depressed, down and out priest or the devil inside Alex will become the devil outside Alex in nine months time and we will all be doomed.  Doomed I say!

First, let us here at the FCU give a shout out to Canadian model Sabrina D'Amour whose role in this film we really can't say as it would constitute a bit of a spoiler, but the woman does have certain enviable gifts and hats off to director Greg A. Sager for finding a way to squeeze her into his movie.  That nonsense aside, 'The Devil In Me' is a slick looking, well shot, competently acted possession film that, at least for me, lacked any real excitement or sizzle to keep me invested in its relatively standard demon possession storyline. 

The movie does look very nice however and the director has infused his film with a solid, eerie atmosphere.  Most of the effects were decidedly old school in their presentation, but they were effective nonetheless, at least for the most part.  Michelle Argyris does a credible job as a possessed hottie, traversing from cute college girl to freaked out wreck to Satan's main squeeze in a reasonable manner, though she did seem a little too quick to freak out at times, but I've never been possessed by Satan so how would I know how that should go down.  We have to admit that we're not too sure about the slutty roommate who seemed jammed into this movie only because she agreed to get naked.  I mean actress Vanessa Broze made for a great tramp and all, I'm just not sure she was necessary in this movie. 

What was missing, at least from where I was sitting, was a pulse or a rhythm to the film.  I've almost completely given up on being scared or frightened by these movies at this point, blaming this on myself for seeing too many of these things, but I still would've liked to have felt the feeling of excitement or danger.  Despite Michelle Argyris' best efforts to make this happen, and despite a low lit atmosphere which should've been able to effectively generate some sense of palpable dread, I wasn't experiencing anything but a slow moving tale of a pretty girl having a really bad week.  And don't get me started on Movie Satan and his completely unreasonable plans to rule the world.  Wacky and overly complicated. 

'The Devil in Me' had some good things working for it, but when those good things aren't fear and excitement in a movie we had hoped would be thrillingly scary, then unfortunately there's not much we can recommend about it.
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