Reviewed by

Christopher Armstead

I think at this point and time we can draw the conclusion, with the information that we have gathered to this point, that bad weather as a thrilling plot device probably needs to be retired.  At least as far as the SyFy Channel is concerned.  No… check that.  As far as anything is concerned.  So we can take our future Ice Twisters and Polar Storms and Ice Quakes and just toss ‘em in the dumpster.  I’m afraid that probably includes extraterrestrial weather phenomena too, such as the ‘Alien Tornado’ we had to deal with last week and the ‘Space Twister’ we had to contend with the other night.  Originally titled ‘Mega Cyclone’.  I have no idea what kind of demographic research prompted the title change.  Anyway, we don’t want to get rid of all bad weather phenomena, but if your bad weather plot device has an evil entity behind the scenes driving it, say like the lunatic in ‘Storm War’ or the monster behind ‘Ba’al: The Storm God’, then by all means keep ‘em coming.  I mean those movies were terrible as well, maybe even worse… definitely worse, but bad weather as a bad guy is kinda lame.

It’s detention time in Backwoods Podunk for brilliant Megan (Luisa D’ Oliveira), Will the dummy (Brett Dier) and Lawson the jock (Reilly Dollman).  Also in detention, but by choice as she is covering detention for school paper, is Susan (Cindy Busby).  Luke is supposed to be in detention too, but he’s dead.  Killed by the Space Twister already.   We don’t know why these kids are in detention considering how polite and well behaved they are, but I guess the filmmakers were looking for a ‘Breakfast Club’ meets ‘The Day After Tomorrow’ kind of vibe so they got stuck in detention. 

Now I’m not quite sure about the science behind everything, but I think it has something to do with the missing red spot on Jupiter (which isn’t really true) and this missing red spot showing up on Earth in the form of a little neutrino called Homosomes.  Or something similar to that.  That’s what is causing the storms.  Maybe.  I can’t remember.  Regardless, the Space Twister is electrocuting, disintegrating, and eviscerating everything in Podunk like you would not believe, but fortunately for Podunk they’re not New York, Boston or D.C. which are gone already.  Finished.  Caput. 

There seems to be all of ten people in this town, the others being Chuck’s divorced parents Andrea (Leah Cairns) and Jason (David Sutcliff), Megan’s dad and Rocket Scientist Gunter (Mitch Pileggi), and Kathy the cop (Jon Mack).  She’s kinda dead too though, so we will move on.  We will soon get some visitors to this little town such as pretty Metabolical Fusionist Dr. Carolyn (Erica Cera) who has seen a YouTube video where Megan has harnessed the power of the homosome, so she forces her colleague Dr. Rod (David Lewis) to fly her there, completely unaware that Homosomes are destroying the planet, until they destroy the plane of course.  Rod is dead.  Damn good thing he just got that pilot license however.  We’ve seen actor David Lewis in an awful lot of these SyFy Channel Originals, and he pretty much dies in every one.  David Lewis is now an honorary Black Guy.

Apparently Megan’s Homosome harnessing experiment is the key to stopping the tornados, basically because the tornado is feeding Brosomes.  Got it?  And her experiment can stop this in someway.  All we need is a rocket nearby to launch this experiment.  Where in the hell are we gonna find… Oh… would you look over there.  Gunter has been designing a rocket.  Actually Will the Dummy designed it.  Just like he designed the Homosome experiment that Megan is taking credit for.  Apparently, since his dad is a football coach, Will would rather everybody think he’s stupid.  I’m just telling you what Will said, man.  The world is ripping at the seams and it is up to a couple of teenagers from Podunk to save us all.

I will say this for Sheldon Wilson’s ‘Space Twister’ in that it is much better than those other SyFy Bad Weather movies we’ve seen. The main reason for this is that almost nobody in this movie looks at computer monitors in an attempt to solve a problem, which usually happens in these SyFy based bad weather movies, and watching people watch computer monitors is never a good recipe for an action thriller.  No sir, about 80% of this movie consists of people running from danger, with almost none of them able to make it.  So we have lots of destruction, and we’re talking destruction on a biblical scale, lots of death… in relation to the ten people that live in this town… millions if you count NYC, Boston and D.C…. so that’s all a good thing.  The last twenty percent brings in the heavy Homosome science, but even that is still fraught with danger, but since there was no electricity, there were still no computer monitors to look at.  

That being said ‘Space Twister’ was still run of the mill in presentation, performance and plotting, BUT… run of the mill simply means mediocre, and you know we will take mediocre any day of the week we it comes to these things.  There was the occasional bout of silliness that’s always present in these movies, say like when Megan and Will were trapped behind a wall of fire and Will’s dad drove through the fire to rescue them.  Now Will and Megan are geniuses right?  So when Dad drove through the fire in the truck, common sense dictates that the kids should jump in the truck.  Unfortunately the adults in the truck had to jump out tell these genius kids to jump in the truck.  And one of these adults didn’t make it.  And that adult was hottest chick in the movie.  That made us sad. 

Was it better than ‘Alien Tornado’?  Well… it was more competent, especially considering Sheldon Wilson directs two or three of these SyFy originals a week and knows his way around this nonsense, and it made more logical sense than ‘Alien Tornado’ which is saying something since I didn’t understand a damn thing about the science in this one, but ‘Alien Tornado’ was more fun to sit through.  Kari Wuhrer and Cleavage might’ve had something to do with that.  I’m not sure.  But with its wacky science, genius teenagers who are idiots, and sky high body count, we must admit we did not hate ‘Space Twister’. 

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