Reviewed by

Christopher Armstead

What do you get when you cross ‘Batman’ with ‘Project Runway’?  I suppose you get something that looks similar to ‘Silver Hawk’, an incredibly light weight Michelle Yeoh vehicle about a crime fighting supermodel.

Alexander Wolf (Luke Goss) is some sort of Serbian terrorist mastermind criminalistic type who always pops in these kinds of movies for the sole purpose of taking over world.  So Wolf kidnaps Professor Ho Chung (Daming Chen) who has developed a new technology that’s invades your brain and makes decisions for you based on what it thinks is best for you.  This is not a good thing.  So Wolf tortures the Prof into placing the technology into cell phones allowing him to control the brains of the WHOLE WORLD!  Wolf also has bionic arms.  Thought I’d throw that in.  Dammit, so that’s how the Republicans did it, f’n with my f’n Razor.  Bastards. 

But supermodel Lulu Wong (Yeoh) and Police Chief Rich Man (Riche Ren) aren’t going for it.  You see Lulu is secretly the motorcycle riding, hot pants wearing, crime ass kicking,  Silver Hawk and Chief Rich Man has vowed to stop her vigilante ways.  Soon though they find a common enemy in Wolf and they combine their might to stop him from TAKING OVER THE WORLD!!!

This flick is as light and airy as they come with an emphasis on flashy but safe kung-fu, bright pretty colors, and slapstick.  If it was any lighter it would probably float off the screen, not that there’s anything wrong with that as Jackie Chan has made a living off of light comedic martial arts movies.  I just happen to like my karate flicks more along the lines of ‘The Victim’ is all.

The whole concept is completely silly, and the Silver Hawk herself has one of the weakest disguises ever.  Dude, its Lulu for goodness sake.  The ‘Spawn’ himself, Michael Jai White, also makes an appearance as one of Wolf’s silent henchman who, along with his hottie partner / lover (we assume) rob banks, kidnap people, and cause general mayhem.  Which is also marginally entertaining, but just not enough for me I suppose.  There’s nothing particularly wrong with ‘Silver Hawk’ as it is, I assume, exactly what it was intended to be which is light airy harmless entertainment.   I just don’t like light, airy, harmless entertainment.  Unless it’s on Cinemax late at night.

Real Time Web