Reviewed by

Christopher Armstead

Director Steve Muddís DTV film ĎSeclusioní is going to be a very difficult film to review.  You see it didnít totally suck, at least as far as Iím concerned, but alternatively, it also wasnít very good either.  It was obviously shot with a reasonably low budget, but taking that into consideration it looked pretty good, but still had a cheap, dramatized ĎAmericaís Most Wantedí sheen to the look of the film.  The acting in the film was certainly competent, but also wasnít stellar either.  The story driving the narrative wasnít very compelling, but it fit with what the filmmakers were working with.  In truth, ĎSeclusioní was just kind of Ďthereí.

 

Christopher Stapleton plays Congressman Robert Hamilton (a very congressional sounding name isnít it?) who is trailing in the polls for the race for the senate of some unnamed state with just two months to go until the election.  With the biggest speech of his campaign coming up Congressman Matthews, his campaign manager the completely uptight Mike Richards (Jefferson Arca), and his altogether too loose chief communications officer Corin Matthews (Missy Crider) decide to go up to a remote cabin, knuckle down and get busy to create a speech thatís going get the electorate on fire!  But you know how it can be when you canít get those old creative juices flowing, you some times have to switch to external stimuli to get the ball moving a little bit.  Fortunately for these cats the completely whorish Corin is loaded down with illegal drugs!  This is a politician who is most definitively inhaling.  So Corin supplies our crew with a combination of marijuana and her own brand of sugar cube sweetened absinthe to cure the writers block.  Hey, if it were available Iíd sure as hell take it to help finish this review.  I canít tell if it helped them out or not, but they sure

did start acting silly.  Except the uptight dude.  But it gets worse for our potential senator.  In one of those things you notice in movies, Corinsí rather large handbag is lying conspicuously on the kitchen counter.  Itís so large that itís hard to miss and of course you know itís going to play a role in our proceedings in some way or the other.  Fiending for some poisonous homemade absinthe, our future senator finds they are out of sugar cubes to sweeten it with.  Wouldnít you know that the whorish Corin has sugar cubes in her ridiculously large handbag?  We all know those arenít regular sugar cubes and now our senator is drugged out on weed, poison liquer AND acid.  His Ďfriendsí knowing they canít take him to the hospital because it would ruin the election decides to wait around and hope it wears off.  So if he manages not to wake up dead the next morning, itís all good and the crisis in averted.

 

During that night something really bad happens.  When the Congressman wakes up Corin is missing, though her car is still there at the cabin as well as her obnoxiously large handbag.  He canít remember anything but obscure flashbacks.  Next thing Corinís insanely violent and jealous husband shows up out of blue wanting to know where his wife is.  He thinks the wife is having an affair with someone, but he would be wrong.  His wife is having an affair with EVERYONE.  Also showing up is the Congressmans wife who finds a diaphragm on the floor and starts jumping to wild conclusions that someone is having sex.  To cut this short, folks start acting super crazy, people start dying, things get resolved and the credits roll.

 

Iím still not sure who did what to Corin, but then I did walk out of the room for a few minutes and didnít feel the need to rewind.  Everything I had to say about how I felt about this film I said in my first paragraph.  ĎSeclusioní is about as generic as entertainment gets.  Had Director Mudd been able to cast Bruce Boxleitner and Meredith Baxter Birney in this thing, the Lifetime Network would have swooped it up with no questions asked.  Itís a totally inoffensive film with no nudity, no real violence and a little profanity.  I guess the drug usage may offend some, but they took care of that little minx who was supplying the contraband for real!

 

On a slightly related note as I was on the IMDB getting my background information on the cast and the like, I noticed that in the little forum for this film Steve Mudd actually jumps into the conversation with the internet posters, most of whom have very little nice to say about his film.  DONíT EVER DO THIS!  Steve, these people are anonymous and as such will say the worst things to you, about you, about your family...  they will curse you, belittle you in a barrage of grammatical errors and damn you.  They are anonymous.  Anonymity brings out the absolute WORST in people for some reason.  Racism, sexism, and a complete lack of reason are all par for the course.  This anonymous unwashed mass will say some of the ugliest things about people they do not know and will never meet.   If you must entertain comments on your film, start your own private board on your films website, one that you can control.  NEVER participate in public forum about yourself.  Anonymity.  It just isnít a good thing.

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