Reviewed By

Christopher Armstead
I mentioned in my comments about 'Resident Evil: Afterlife' that it was a collection of pretty pictures and spectacular explosive action surrounded by next to nothing.  Apparently director Paul W.S. Anderson read what I wrote… because we all know that Mr. Anderson starts his busy day wanting to know what I think about stuff… and said 'Mr. Armstead, if you think that was supported by nothing… wait until see what I got for you now!'  That brings us the fifth movie in the Resident Evil franchise 'Resident Evil: Retribution' which is more explosive than the last movie, has even less narrative than a Dr. Seuss children's book, it is also mighty repetitive but… and this is critical at least for my enjoyment of this otherwise completely worthless film… Michelle Rodriguez is back.  Price of admission justified.

Last we left Alice and them, the krazy evil Umbrella Corp., with the help of a slinky but possessed Jill Valentine (Sienna Guillory) was dropping bombs on the haven known as Arcadia.  This is played in reverse for some reason to start this movie, where Alice (Mila Jovovich) then gives a quick Resident Evil Primer.  I also mentioned in my comments about that last movie that it gave you nothing in regards to a back story so if you haven't seen the first three, you were pretty much lost.  Again, Mr. Anderson heeded my call and fixed all of that.  The bad part about this little primer is that Exposition Time for this film is pretty much over. 

Because of what went down at on the good ship Arcadia, Alice wakes up a prisoner of Umbrella, yet again, and this time she doesn't have any superpowers because the crazy evil Albert Wesker (Shawn Roberts) took them from her in the last movie.  Not that this is going to stop Alice from running, jumping, spinning, flying, levitating, and kicking ass like she still has superpowers.
Back to the FCU
Let Chris know how Wrong He Is
Don't Be Square...
Like Totally Twisted Flix!

So Alice is a prisoner of Umbrella, particularly the childlike Red Queen enitity who I think plans to kill every remaining human on earth for some reason or another, until she is set free by one Ada Wong (Li Bingbing), under the order of Albert Wesker.  Don't ask me why for I can't explain it.  Also a team of mercs has been sent to the underwater domain of Umbrella to assist in the freedom effort, principle upon these would be Luther West (Boris Kodjoe) from the last movie and the first and long overdue of appearance of one Leon S. Kennedy (Johann Urb).

Action then ensues.  And it won't stop.  Ever.

'Resident Evil: Retribution' is not a good movie.  Not even close to a good movie, but of course this doesn't mean that it's devoid of entertainment value, but it does possess a litany of insurmountable problems as a work of viable cinema.  By now we all know that the narrative of this series has next to nothing to do with the videogames of which it shares in name only, but now it doesn't even have much to do with itself anymore as far as a narrative goes.  It's revealed to us that Umbrella created the T-Virus to sell to the nations to make money.  Now Umbrella just wants to kill us all.  Even though at one time it wanted save us all.  But if it kills us all, who is it going to sell its awesome T-Virus to now?  The aliens that could possibly show up in Resident Evil 6?  I would estimate that there might be a good fifty or so lines of dialog in this movie, with very little of this dialog having any kind of impact on what little story is being told.  And what little dialog is being told is rattled off with all the passion of reciting through a Burger King menu, and that's by almost all the actors in this movie who seem to recognize, to a person, that they are the least important part of this movie. 

But let's say you're the type who doesn't like words, or crisp acting, or story continuity or sense making.  You just like to watch bullets fly and punching and kicking and exploding and monsters and Nazi zombies riding motorcycles and you want to watch this stuff go real fast in glorious 3D.  Then allow me to step aside and usher you into the movie theater my friend, because here you go!

And while this movie has next to nothing to do with the actual videogame, it still has lot of nice videogame touches.  The guy they have playing Leon S. Kennedy and his signature hair-do?  Perfect.    Ada Wong coming to kick ass in a tight cheongsam dress with a slit going all the way up her thigh, while wildly inappropriate and probably uncomfortable for your average ass-kicking super agent, this is nonetheless videogame female character standard gear.  Guns with unlimited bullets, or guns that reload simply by shooting away from the TV screen, which I think I saw Alice do one time… it's all there.  And then there's the repetitive nature of going through levels and doing the same damn thing over and over and over again, just like in a videogame… 'Retribution' does all of this.  And did I mention they found a way to bring Michelle Rodriguez back?  The device used is wacky and completely nonsensical, just like this entire movie, but she has returned and the movie and my life is better for it.

Whaddayagonnado?  'Resident Evil: Retribution' really isn't all that good a movie, but the action is explosive, albeit repetitive, and it is that rare Hollywood movie shot in 3D where the 3D actually adds value to the movie.  Not a good movie but it's not like we're going to skip it since we here at the FCU always seems to watch Resident Evil movies no matter what.  Heck if I know why.
Don't Be Square... Like Totally Twisted Flix!
Real Time Web