As a teenager I saw the movie ‘The Toxic Avenger’ and though I enjoyed that movie I did have a sense that there was something very dangerous about it. I familiarized myself with that movie and the people behind it, Troma Studios and the now legendary Lloyd Kaufman, because I was of the thought that were I to meet Mr. Kaufman it may be necessary for me to eliminate him from existence for the good of society. A couple of years later Mr. Kaufman was in St. Louis, my old hometown at the time, for some kind of publicity junket for yet another Toxic Avenger joint, but I wimped out and allowed him to live that day, which after watching his latest masterpiece ‘Poultrygeist: Night of the Chicken Dead’ was a mistake that I will never be able to live down. To Society – I apologize as your destruction is now complete.

Arbie (Jason Yachanin) and Wendy (Kelly Graham) are a couple of high school seniors making out in old abandoned native American burial ground while some guy is watching them while jacking off his prosthetic penis. At least I hope like hell it was a prosthetic penis. This pair of crazy kids is making plans for the future as Wendy is off to college while Arbie, a certified loser, is dedicating his time to being just that while waiting for Wendy. There’s some other stuff going on like Arbie getting buggered by the hand of a rotted corpse and our voyeur getting a pair of panties pulled from his mouth through is ass by another rotted course, but that’s really neither here nor there.

A few moths later Arbie observes a protest at the newly built American Chicken Bunker, a fast food chain that built its latest store on the old Indian burial ground. This protest is being organized by C.L.AM., which I think stands for College Lesbians Against Meat… I think. Sadly for Arbie he sees that Wendy has joined this organization, falling in love with Micki (Alison Seraboff), which has broken his heart. To get revenge, Arbie gets a job at the chicken shack which is run by their gung ho manager Denny (Joshua Olatunde) and staffed by the Arab Humus (Rose Ghavani), the gay Mexican Paco Bell (Khalid Rivera) and inbred idiot Carl Jr. (Caleb Emerson). Unfortunately we all know how troublesome Indian burial grounds can be, infecting

evil all up in the very bowels of the chicken shack… literally. Hearing about the commotion prompts a visit from American Chicken Bunker CEO Colonel Lee Roy who can’t have these people ruining his business, and offers all of the protesters free chicken, despite the fact that there are green pulsating boils on the meat. They eat the meat, except for Colonel Lee Roy who similar to Monty Burns refuses to eat the three eyed fish, with the one minor side effect being that the poison chicken has turned everybody into mutated chicken zombies. Now it’s up to our hero Arbie, his crew of fried chicken losers, his adult skirt wearing doppelganger (Lloyd Kaufman) and his girl Wendy who has re-found her love for Arbie to stop the mutant chicken zombie menace, and sing a few show tunes in the process.

What can be said about this latest epic from our heroes at Troma Vision? I doubt that very seriously that you or me or anybody on earth will ever see another film even close to what we were offered up here with ‘Poultrygeist’. You see I didn’t know that it was a musical until I saw Arbie’s first musical number and though I was surprised to hear the damn song, I was even more surprised that song was actually decent. The musical numbers actually make this thing worth the price of admission as they were cheesy for sure, but the lyrics were hilarious, the songs moved the story along and the dance choreography was so bad that it actually inspired me to go choreography school because I know I can at least do that. Is there such a thing as choreography school? Perhaps it’s not music you want but you want to offended in the most politically incorrect way possible? Well that’s not going to happen unless you happen to be Black, Hispanic, Jewish, Muslim, Native American, Catholic, Asian, Gay, Mentally challenged, physically challenged, female, male, human, animal, or a vegetable. Otherwise you have nothing to worry about. At the age of sixty three you would think that Mr. Kaufman might have matured a bit and would have run out of creative ways to disgust us, but we gotta hand it to the guy with broom sticks in the ass, rotting fists in the ass, rotting chickens erupting from asses, rotting fecal matter erupting from asses and this is just the gore elements that involve the ass as heads, chests, arms and legs generally explode in bloody pulps as well. Plus Lloyd lays it on with plenty of nudity, girl on girl, boy on girl, orgies, and the occasional buggering. ‘Poultrygeist’ has it all baby.

The question remains is ‘Poultrygeist’ a good movie? Of course it isn’t! The acting is suspect, the cinematography is suspect, the direction is suspect… But if you’ve been following the career of one Lloyd Kaufman, this very could be his ‘Citizen Kane’ as everything he’s ever done has apparently led to this. Plus this is like the only movie I’ve seen that I would have loved to have been an extra on set because it looked like there was fun being had by all on this one. The real purpose of me typing this was to give my fingers a workout because people who like this stuff are gonna love this movie and those who don’t like this stuff aren’t gong to go see it in the first place. I went to go see it so I guess that tells you where I stand… and Mr. Kaufman, I got you in my crosshairs brother. For the sake of the children.