Reviewed by

Christopher Armstead

For a moment, and just for brief moment it looked as if the outlandishly maverick and universally reviled film director Uwe Boll had found his niche in satirical comedy. Just for a moment. I have seen quite a few of Mr. Boll’s videogame film knockoffs and though some of us out there may be just a bit excessive in their attacks against what he does, for the most part he has earned everything he has received. But with his new movie ‘Postal’, again using the title from a videogame, Boll drops the scare tactics, the Damphere’s, the zombies and there’s no Burt Reynolds anywhere to be seen as a Medieval King. With ‘Postal’ Boll has created possibly one of the most tastelessly crass and inappropriately offensive comedies that I’ve ever seen, and while it did make me laugh and it did have its moments, eventually film implodes upon itself as there was simply not enough humor or satire there to support it’s running time.

The film opens quite offensively featuring a pair of 9-11 suicide bombers seriously rethinking their mission as the large number of suicide terrorist has decreased the pool of available virgins considerably. Though this has nothing to do with anything, I was wondering with the increasing numbers of female suicide killers are they promised a gaggle of male virgins for their sacrifice? I guess I could consult the Koran on this but somehow I don’t there’s any literal mention of blowing one’s self up in the Muslim bible. As offensive as this scene may have been, it was admittedly pretty damn funny.

Fast forward to the current day where we meet the star of our film, the unnamed recently laid off Postal Dude (Zach Ward) as he meanders through his terrible life. He can’t find a job, he lives in a crappy trailer park, his wife is about the same size as his trailer and on top of that she’s an unfaithful whore. Across town Dude’s Uncle Dave played by comedian Dave Foley who has chosen to unfortunately bless us with some front frontal action in this movie, is running a cult that is in some trouble with the IRS. Now I think that the German Mr. Boll might not be aware of American tax laws as most religious institutions, no matter how wacky, are mostly excused from paying federal taxes.

Anyway, Uncle Dave has a plan to steal a shipment this realities version of the Elmo Doll and sell them on online auctions to cure his cash flow woes, but the problem here is that Osama Bin Laden (Larry Thomas) and his point man Mohammad (Michael Benyaer) have the same plan, only to infect the dolls with Avian Bird Flu to destroy the infidels once and for all. There’s all kinds of other stuff going on in the periphery of this wacky ass film but it is called ‘Postal’ and eventually the beady-eyed Postal Dude has to do just that, but it’s to save the free world from the evil terrorist and religious fanatics that hate freedom. Freedom isn’t free people.

So this is a movie that features a midget getting gang raped by monkeys, a 400 pound white woman getting interracially DP’d, the director of the film catching a shotgun blast in the nutsack, a cat being anally used as a gun silencer and more dead bodies than a ‘Die Hard’ movie, including a scene of massive child murder all done in the name of comedy. And I’d be lying to you if I didn’t admit that a good portion of Mr. Boll’s take on comedy did manage to be funny. As a matter of fact as the movie started it looked as if this was going to be one of those sketch comedy type flicks that jumped from silly skit to silly skit, but a little ways into proceedings the actual movie decided to kick in and the longer the actual ‘movie’ went on the weaker ‘Postal’ became.

The good thing is that those out there that thought Uwe Boll was completely devoid of any talent would be incorrect as the man does have a good sense of comic timing and a fairly sharp political eye. He also made great use by way of cameo of the great actor J.K. Simmons and in particular Michael Pare who was killing me as a gold chained panhandler. However ‘Postal’ does reinforce that the man can’t tell a story to save his life. Even though it’s incredibly unfair to compare this to arguably the greatest comedy of all time in ‘Blazing Saddles’ but the films are similar in tone and ‘Blazing Saddles’ is a prime example of incredibly tasteless comedy wrapped around an agenda, Race Relations in the case of ‘Blazing Saddles’, yet still placed within a complete, coherent and enjoyable storyline. Mr. Boll was partway there with the humor but his narrative was all over the freaking place and eventually just devolved into mindless mayhem and chaos. Also, by this time the humor that once appeared to be clever and biting, just became tasteless for the sake of being tasteless since there was nothing worthwhile to support it.

However, and I do realize that this is faint praise, but this by far Uwe Boll’s best film, at least of the one’s I’ve seen. If you think you can tolerate Twin Tower gags, monkey rape, a Nazi theme park and a meandering and nonsensical story line then let your introduction to the films of Uwe Boll begin and end with his personal masterpiece, ‘Postal’.

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