Alrighty then. We’ve been kind of on a Ninja kick lately so let’s end our brief late 2009 infatuation with those who have mastered the art of ninjitsu with this little slice of Japanese exploitation ‘Ninja She Devil’.

Our film begins by informing us via text overlay on some ninja vitals and things that ninja need to do accomplish their tasks, relying on nine ‘holes’ or something along those lines that they possess to complete the tasks. They also inform us, in case you didn’t know, that females have one extra ‘hole’ that males do not possess… in case you did not know. Now you know, this extra hole when used properly can give a kunoichi, or a female ninja, an extra advantage. Educational!

When we first meet the kunoichi Tsubame (Yuyu Asame) she is in the woods practicing her skills with her brother Hayabusa, and she looks like she’s in desperate need of a brassiere, though I don’t think they were available during this time period. The brother has informed Tsubame that they have a very important mission to accomplish, a mission that will require the use of her special skill. In case you didn’t know most Shinobi have some special skill with Tsubame’s special skill being the ability to capture a man’s seed in her womb and keep it fresh for seven days. Some Shinobi can fly, others can shoot flames from their eyes but this is the skill that this poor girl gets stuck with. As it so happens this skill is needed because the Lord Kuniyoshi, the sickly boss of our brother / sister shinobi team, needs a male heir and thus needs to visit his concubine. However he is too sick to make the trip and handle his business personally, and also there are powers out there who would benefit from this male heir not being born. What Lord Kuniyoshi needs is somebody who can keep semen fresh in their womb for a while and then transport it into a waiting recipient. Yes, that sound absolutely disgusting, but there you go.

Now it’s extended sex scene time as Kuniyoshi deposits his package into his gifted ninja girl for transport. We should mention that for a man who is too sick to barely sit up he looked pretty damn spry when it came time to start depositing ‘packages’ into the big tittied ninja girls. Of course after he was done he was acting all sickly again. Faker. Tragically, getting back to the story, just before they are to journey off, Hayubasa, obviously the world’s worst ninja, gets himself killed. Now Tsubame is on her own traversing across these treacherous woods, weighed down by seed (her words, not mine), fighting off all kinds of villains who wish to see her fail in her task. The only thing that keeps her going is the knowledge that when her journey is over she will be relieved of her Shinobi duties and she can finally be with Taishi, the simple farmer that she loves. Personally, I hope she completes this journey because I can’t wait to see how she’s going transport the seed from her womb into this other woman. That I gotta see.

So I’ve seen a couple of these Japanese martial arts exploitation films with the absolute low point of this genre, at least from what I’ve seen, being that one Ninja Vixen flick I saw which was just awful. I mean we don’t necessarily expect these movies to be landmark but that was pretty damn bad and because of that movie I was afraid that ‘Ninja She-Devil’ would be more of the same level of awfulness. Surprise, surprise, ‘Ninja She-Devil’ was way better than that Ninja Vixen movie. This isn’t to say, of course, that ‘Ninja She-Devil’ can be considered a good movie, I mean the ‘martial arts’ are some of the most poorly filmed that you will ever see, the movie was shot on video and filmmakers did very little to hide the fact that it was shot on video, and none of our cast members were particularly good actors. That being said I think we do understand Yuyu Asane wasn’t cast in this movie because of her skills as a martial artist or for her abilities as an actress. There is just enough story in this video to keep it moving from elongated sex sequence to elongated sex sequence and at least our filmmakers did make an attempt with the fight sequences. They were crap but the effort was clearly there. And sure enough, to no one’s surprise, the coup de grace was when it came time for our kunoichi to move that seed along. I gotta hand it to my guys for the creativity that was used in pulling that one off. Outstanding.

After the movie was over they had these behind the scenes credits showing us stuff such as Yuyu singing the closing theme song and one particular scene, the final wrap scene I guess, in which the director gives the star a bouquet of flowers. I thought that scene was interesting because Ms. Asami was still buck ass naked but yet there she was, flowers in her grip, steadily bowing up and down to her loyal cast and crew for an awful long time, D-cups flopping. One would’ve thought they would’ve given the girl a bathrobe THEN the flowers but then I don’t know the customs.

No, ‘Ninja She Devil’ might not be high art but if you want to watch some attractive Japanese women engage in some surprisingly graphic fake sex amidst a kung-fu backdrop, then I think your search just might be over.