Look at that face on that box cover, will
you? That there is Jennifer Tse, and she is some kind of
beautiful son. Take it all in because she is really
something to look at. That face is just about
perfect. Jennifer is a model by trade and there is a
YouTube video of the young lady giving beauty tips. I
should link to that page because that's probably Jennifer's
natural element… Sitting around being beautiful while giving
tips on being beautiful. I only mention this because
after watching 'Naked Soldier' I don't believe Jennifer's
natural element is kung fu action movies. But she does
do beautiful real good.
Sammo Hung is hardcore cop Chi-Kueng Ling and he's just made
the drug bust of the century. Multiple millions of
dollars, the Miami newsman will tell us. Drug dealers in
this reality really don't like it when you stop their
shipments so these drug dealers send the crazy evil Madam Rose
(Ellen Chan) to murder Ling's entire family.
Everybody. Including granny who gets the back of her
head blown off. Ling, who is full of bullets right now,
was also about to see his ten year old daughter get blown away
but Madame Rose has plans for this girl and takes her away as
her own while blowing up Ling's house with, so she thought,
Ling inside of it.
Fast forward fifteen or so years where that little girl has
grown up to look just like Jennifer Tse, been completely
brainwashed, given the code name Phoenix and is one of Madame
Rose's top assassins. Kind of. Not really.
She's actually kind of crappy at it, truth be told.
There's a big hit going down with Phoenix's associates Selina
(Ankie Beilke) and Ivy (Lena Lin), along with Phoenix, ordered
to take down a number of head honchos. Selena and Ivy do
great work. Kill everybody. Phoenix on the other
hand… not so much. She only kills who she needs kill,
and leaves witnesses and all other kinds of loose ends.
Phoenix is that always hated assassin that has a heart of
gold. Not a good combination and Madame Rose is none too
happy with her.
Also still around is Detective Ling, still
longing for his baby girl he knows is still out there
somewhere. Today he's been brought in by Interpol Agent
Sam Wong (Andy On) to flush out Madame Rose and her gang,
since he has intimate knowledge about Madame Rose. First
they have to make sure Ling still has it by running some kind
of weird test which gets some poor agent beat near to death,
but that wasn't enough, I guess, because now Wong and Ling
have a big kung fu fight right in the middle of the Interpol
cubicles. Now he's ready.
Because of Phoenix's screw up, the cops have something to kind
of go on, which sends Wong to the University for some reason
or another where he meets a lovely college student. It's
Phoenix. They're in love now. Hell if I know how
that happened. But I guess she is beautiful so there it
is. Also, since Phoenix left a little blood behind during her
botched hit, Ling knows his daughter is still alive!
Yay! He also has adopted a daughter in between time that
he could teach kung fu to. Eventually Madame Rose knows
what has to be done. Phoenix will have to kill Ling,
unless Ling can convince her that he's her long lost
father. Wire fu nonsense shall ensue.
1992's 'Naked Killer' was pretty sleazy. In fact I think
I'm going to have to watch it again tonight to refresh my
memory of it. 2002's 'Naked Weapon' was less sleazy
though it certainly had its moments. A guilty pleasure
if ever there was one. 2014's 'Naked Warrior'… hmm… not
very sleazy, wildly inconsistent in tone, terribly acted,
possesses some of the worst dialog you will ever want to hear
but the fight scenes are kind of fun and as a result, so is
the movie itself, once you realize that no one in this movie
is taking this serious even a little bit.
While the stunning Jennifer Tse is our star, director Marco
Mak seem to make the conscious decision not to give her too
much to do outside of making her lips and skin glow. Her
dialog was kept to a minimum and her action sequences were
either cut in a way to hide fact that the woman isn't much of
a martial artist, or spliced in between better action
sequences so the focus will be on them and not on hers.
Mak seemed to have a little more trust in Miss Tse's pretty
co-stars Lena Lin and Ankie Beilke as there action scenes seem
to require a minimum of camouflaging, though I'm pretty sure
they aren't martial artists either.
The narrative, as it were, is nonsense personified… to the
point it's not even really worth deconstructing other than to
mention that Interpol and Madame Rose's organization in this
reality are completely incompetent, but clearly the purpose of
'Naked Weapon' wasn't to stimulate one with its deep
intellectual tale. And as we mentioned, any movie that opens
with and old lady getting the back of her blown off, has a
midsection with filled with comedy featuring a gender
challenged kung fu duo, then ends with Anthony Wong showing up
providing his special brand of Kung Fu buffoonery… this is a
film that has a dramatic / comedy tone that is all its
own.
But despite the debilitating limitations that plague 'Naked
Soldier', it is difficult be too hard on it because it is
clear that this film is not concerned about any of these
things. Show some hot chicks engaged in kung fu fighting
and just make up the story as you go along. I wouldn't
recommend that as a blue print for any movie, but it actually
kind of works here.
