|
From
the network that brought us classics such as ‘Mansquito’
and ‘Raptor Island’ comes the latest from the SciFi
network, ‘Minotaur’. Now
nobody, and I mean nobody can dump dreck across the
small screen like
the SciFi channel, but ‘Minotaur’ God bless ‘em
ain’t so bad.
Seems
like, for some reason, this ancient civilization was
trying to create a
master prince or something, and mated the queen with
a bull. Make of that
what you will, I’m not touching it.
From
that union came the Minotaur, a crazed beastly thing
that had to be
thrust down into the caves beneath the palace and
now feeds on
sacrifices. A local
village run by Cyrnan
(Rutger ‘I will do ANYTHING if the check clears’
Hauer) is
forced to give up 8 of its youth every three years
for the sacrifice. His
son Theo (Tom Hardy) is sent away each sacrifice
harvest because he
needs to be available to run the shanty village when
Cyrnan kicks the
bucket. But when a
leper tells Theo that
his love, who was snared in the last harvest, is
still alive, Theo
arranges for himself to be taken with the mission of
slaying the beast
and freeing his true love.
The
land of the Minotaur is run by Deucalion, played by
Tony Todd of Candy
Man fame, who must have had extra pork during the
shoot because he
hammed it up to the extreme.
When Deucalion is taking happy sniffs of the
magic horns head or sacrificing virgins to his
|
|
|
minotaur, he’s dripping drool over
the ultra luscious queen Raphaella (Michelle Van
Der Water). So, down
in the minotaur pit go our 8 sacrificees and one
by one they get picked off and devoured. Including
one rather horrific scene of a young lady getting
speared by minotaur
horn in the back of neck, then jutting out her
yap. Pretty violent
stuff for TV, but I’m glad to see it.
All
in all this flick is fairly standard hide and seek
and be slaughtered
stuff, which is a HUGE step up for SciFi original
movies. The movie is
paced reasonably well, and the CG minotaur was done
quite well. They
probably went a little to heavy on the lore mumbo
jumbo, but
considering Michelle Van Der Water was either
soaking wet, or half
naked, or both throughout the entire movie, earns it
a mumbo jumbo pass. A
decent SciFi diversion until eventual return of
‘Mansquito 2’.
|
|