Reviewed by Christopher Armstead |
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General Zod (Michael Shannon), a
patriot if ever there was one, is pissed off. His
planet, Krypton, is about to explode and since the
council of Kryptonian stiffs aren’t doing anything
about it to save his people, thus he stages a bloody
coup. Jor-El
(Russell Crowe) knows this as well, and both Jor-El
and Zod believe that the hope for Krypton lies
beyond the stars.
They seem to want the same thing, but I’m
told Zod is nuts and Jor-El is righteous. I guess I
have to roll with that. Anyway, eventually Zod’s
rebellion is put down and he and his crew of
supermodel warriors are banished to the Phantom Zone
for 300 cycles.
However long that is. Here’s
what I don’t get… the planet is exploding, Krypton
is doomed, everybody knows this. Why not
just leave Zod and them on Krypton to die with the
rest of the Kryptonians? Instead, he’s given a
reprieve. A
second chance.
Which he will take full advantage of by
murdering a large number of Earth’s citizens. Thanks
Kryptonians. For
a race of advanced individuals, Kryptonians seem
kind of dumb to me. So we all know the basic story of
‘Man of Steel’, where Jor-El sends his only begotten
son to Earth to absolve us of all our sins. We also
know that the baby Kal-El was found by the kindly
Smallvillians Ma and Pa Kent (Kevin Costner and
Diane Lane), rechristened with the name of Clark and
this boy would struggle mightily with the fact that
he was different from all the other kids around him. It wouldn’t get any easier for Clark the adult (Henry Cavill). A wondering soul with little direction and a killer set of pecs and abs, and not to mention some anger management issues, but eventually the time would come when his original father Jor-El will show young Clark the way, and he will learn where he came from and who he is. And get a dope suit with a fly cape in the process. And he will meet a hardworking reporter in Lois Lane (Amy Adams) who uncovers his secret, the biggest story in the history of everything, and like any rational reporter will sit on this story because it’s The Right Thing to Do. This awakening will also correspond with Zod, now armed with a ship of Mass Destruction finding Earth, mainly looking for Kal-El, and he has a plan. It’s not a good plan, at least far as we Earthlings are concerned. |
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Clark /
Kal, cannot allow Zod to
execute this plan to
destroy his adopted home
to create New Krypton,
even though the Earth and
its citizenry really
hasn’t been all that great
to Clark, but the fact is
Zod and his minions are
about as powerful as he
is, plus they’ve been bred
to do exactly this sort of
thing, also engineered
without morality, where
Clark was bred to hide and
suppress his abilities and
is a bleeding heart. What
chance does he have? We
are confident that he has
a pretty good chance, and
we are confident that
things are going blow up
real good in the process. So…
there’s a scene in 1981’s
‘Superman II’ where Zod
and his minions are doing
battle with Superman and
completely wrecking
Metropolis. Superman
looks left, then right,
observes the carnage then
realizes that this is
totally not cool and gets
out of there. I
mean they’re destroying
the city and killing
people, right? Not
this Superman. If
there was building that
could be destroyed or
toppled or a tanker that
could be blown up,
Superman and Zod made sure
that happened, and
thousands would die in the
process, because the
Citizens of Metropolis did
not believe in running
away until it was way too
late. I’m
pretty sure some of the
differences we mention
here are the function of
the times and cost. In
1981 destroying a city
would be prohibitively
expensive and time
consuming since it would
have to be done largely
with miniatures. In
2013, computers can do
anything that you can
imagine. And
the computers in ‘Man of
Steel’ were awesome. Planets
explode, people ride
flying wasps or whatever
those things were, jets
blow up, planets are
terraformed, buildings
collapse, buildings
collapse, buildings
collapse… ‘Man of Steel’
is truly something to see. Unless
you have some kind of
aversion to watching
buildings collapse. The movie
itself? Well…
it was a strangely
detached, very dark, oddly
violent, almost completely
humorless affair bookended
by a pair of pretty
amazing action sequences. Though
the last one did go on for
an awful long time. Henry
Cavill certainly made for
a good looking Superman,
tall, built, solid chin,
and a tendency to profile
in front of the camera…
just how we like our
Superman. Maybe
a little stiff and he did
have two emotions, those
being serious and super
serious, but then this
Superman is going through
some serious stuff. I guess
therein lies our issue
with ‘Man of Steel’ in
that it is so darn…
serious. Heaven
forbid we introduce some
of the buffoonery of the
some of those Christopher
Reeve Superman movies, I
mean thank goodness we
didn’t have to deal with
that, and I get that
‘Dark’ is the color of the
day for the modern
superhero movie, but even
the ‘Dark Knight’ movies
had more levity than this
one. Even
the color palette that
director Zack Snyder went
for was drab and
depressing. Plus
this is Superman we’re
talking about, a character
not defined by darkness,
brooding and inner
conflict… that would be
Batman… but one who gets
by on positivity and self
confidence that leans on
the edge of over
confidence. Oh
well. Go
Dark or Go Home I guess. In
addition to Cavill, the
performances were solid
enough, Russell Crowe
doing a fine job as Jor-El
and we thoroughly enjoyed
watching actress Antje
Traue wreck scenery and
kill people as the
particularly psycho Super
Model Minion of Zod,
Faora. Kevin
Costner and Laurence
Fishburn as Perry White
seemed somewhat underused,
however. And
we also have to admit the
romance that was supposed
to be occurring between
Superman and Lois was
undercooked, at best. A
two and half hour movie
probably should’ve done a
better job of building a
relationship between our
two leads, so when they
start necking at the end
of the movie, it actually
seems plausible. As
an example, if Kirk and
Spock started making out
at the end of ‘Star Trek:
Into Darkness’… not that
we’d be happy with that…
but THAT relationship was
developed and that
would’ve made sense. While it may seem like we’re coming down a little hard on ‘Man of Steel’, we did enjoy the movie for what it was. It’s not the brightest movie around, in intellect or in color scheme, and this version of Superman looks like he spent way more time in the gym than in a classroom, but it was still some seriously high dollar entertainment and a movie that we did enjoy. |
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