Reviewed By

Christopher Armstead
Julia (Valerie Azlynn) is on one of them there Internet dates with the dashing man named Chuck (Kevin Sorbo).  Okay, so they don't really tell us his name, just that he's known as The Stranger, but I'm not going to call him that thus his name is now Chuck.  So dashing and charming is Chuck that Julia actually imagines Chuck having her bent over a bathroom sink.  That's something only a charming and disarming dude can do.  While the date seems to be going well, Julia does a 180 and prematurely ends the date, much to Chuck's dismay, places a phone call to who I assume is her sister Jessica (Ashleigh Lee Willis) to let her know that this guy could be the one, and then she exits the restaurant.  Guess what?  Chuck is the one… the one Crazy Rapist Murderer Serial Killer!  Apparently at this point in time in whatever town this movie takes place, I remember seeing swamps so I'm guessing it's down New Orleans way, there is a serial killer picking up women on the internet, branding letters on their bodies, having his way with them then disposing of them.  Julia is branded with the letter 'X'.  Curious to see what Chuck is going to do if and when he gets past the letter 'Z'.  A-1 maybe?  Double A?  Ah, but that's neither here nor there because 'Julia-X' as this movie is titled might be a little bit more than Chuck bargained for.

All right, so Chuck has Julia all hemmed up in his little hideout getting his torture on, and having a damn good time doing it.  He takes Julia along as he gets rid of Sally-W, sets Julia up in his swamp hideout for more torture action, but as it turns out Julia is a bit more resourceful than Chuck gave her credit for.  I mean Julia kind of escapes, but she is in the swamp so surely the cute urban blonde can't get too far, but again Julia is nothing if not resourceful.
Back to the FCU
Let Chris know how Wrong He Is
Don't Be Square...
Like Totally Twisted Flix!

And the tables are turned.  Telling anything more would give all the good parts away.  And if by 'good parts' I mean '60 more minutes of brutal torture' then that's what I mean.  We know that there are those of you out there who like that kind of thing.

I think I have to say writer / director P.J. Petite's film 'Julia-X' will probably be an acquired taste for most of you, so if you actually enjoy nonsensical, completely ridiculous, utterly pointless torture horror then this a movie that you just might take to.  Personally, I'm not one for pointless torture horror so I wasn't taking to 'Julia-X' all that much.

The concept is pretty cool, Internet dating gone terribly wrong, and it was a bit of a pleasant surprise to see the usually amiable Kevin Sorbo flip it around and play a completely hateful character for a change.  He's still probably better served playing a nice guy considering Mr. Sorbo does have a natural easy charm about himself that doesn't lend itself all that well to crazed serial killing and raping, but we appreciate my man extending his creative reach.  Valerie Azlynn and Ashleigh Leigh Willis?  Well… they are adorable and they did a fine job of bouncing off of each like I would imagine real sisters would, but I just don't know if they sold me on the whole psycho chick thing.   There psycho shticks tended to lean more on the side of annoying than that of actually intimidating.   Actor Joel David Moore does show up a little later as a schlub, which he can do about as well as anybody, and lest we forget Ving Rhames who also shows up even later playing somebody mean and ugly.  Think Ving can do that?  Why yes he can.

The fact of the matter is that after a while, even if you like watching people get barb wired, gored, stabbed, burned, and tortured over and over again… and it does happen over and over again which means that 'Julia-X' gets real repetitive, real fast.  Sometimes the monotony of the torture is broken to watch Julia and Jessica bitch at each other, but then that got kind of old pretty damn quick as well.

An acquired taste is what 'Julia-X' is.
Don't Be Square... Like Totally Twisted Flix!
Real Time Web