Reviewed by

Christopher Armstead

Jennifer (Megan Fox) is the hottie and her best friend Needy (Amanda Seyfried) is the nottie. I probably shouldn’t reference that particular terrible movie in describing this movie ‘Jennifer’s Body’ because while ‘Jennifer’s Body’ was fairly mediocre it was at least better that ‘The Hottie and the Nottie’. Faint praise perhaps… but praise nonetheless.

So Jennifer is the lead cheerleader and the most popular girl in school with all the trappings that come with that crown while her best friend Needy, not exactly what I would call a slouch by any means, but compared to Jennifer I suppose everybody is slouch. And then there’s the fact that the girls name is Needy. I guess that’s her real name since everybody does call her that which makes one wander what kind of drug addicted parent would name their kid ‘Needy’. But in the grand scheme things Needy isn’t really all that needy because Jennifer is actually the needy one. Jennifer needs Needy as a crutch, Jennifer needs Needy to make herself feel superior and Jennifer needs Needy to help carry her through high school. Proof of this is evident when one fateful night Jennifer ignores the sage advice of Needy and jumps into a van with some local rock band and then comes back… different.

Needy realizes immediately that the Jennifer that got into that van isn’t the same Jennifer that shows up at her house later that night. It’s not just the fact that she vomits gallons of bloody black goo but more along the lines that she’s become callous and selfish. Even more so than usual, and that’s saying something.

Then there’s the issue that boys are turning up butchered to death in this small out of the way Minnesota town. We know already that Jennifer is eating them, but Needy somehow knows when Jennifer is doing these horrible, horrible things. I think it has something to do with Needy sucking Jennifer’s blood when they were kids. I think. It’s complicated.

Sure, Jennifer is Needy’s homegirl and all, I mean they even make out in this movie for some reason or another, but eating people really isn’t cool and to make matters even worse Jennifer seems to have her sights on eating Needy’s boyfriend Chip (Johnny Simmons). That’s not the kind of thing a real friend would do I don’t think. Now the Nottie has to take matters in her own hands and stop the Hottie before she eats any more people!

There’s really not a lot to say about ‘Jennifer’s Body’ other than… you know… it was okay. As a movie there really wasn’t anything in it that set it apart from any other teen based horror flick in that it wasn’t really all that scary or thrilling but to its credit the movie also wasn’t mind numbingly boring or dull either. What’s most interesting about 'Jennifer’s Body' is less the movie but the personalities that were involved in constructing the movie. For starters it’s directed by a woman, Karyn Kusama, which in itself is a rarity for a horror movie… or any movie for that matter now that we think about it. It’s also, I believe, the first lead role for Megan Fox, though truth be told Amanda Seyfried is probably the real lead in this movie since she is saddled with carrying the majority movie but obviously Fox Studios isn’t interested in putting a half dressed Amanda Seyfried on a movie poster. Though I know Amanda could pull that off.  Finally this film was written by Academy Award winner AND former stripper AND former phone sex operator Diablo Cody. One day folks will stop prefixing ‘former stripper’ in front of Diablo Cody’s name. Today is not that day, but its coming.

About Cody’s script… the story itself was fairly straight forward and rudimentary for the most part but I gotta admit that some the dialog these characters spoke was so hip and cool that I didn’t understand what the hell they were trying to say. I have recently turned forty so it is possible that my ‘hip and cool’ dialog comprehension gene has been shut off but what the smell of Thai food has to do with sex beats the hell out of me.

And while this may be Ms. Fox’s first starring role she doesn’t do anything different from any other movie I’ve seen her in, which is that she stood around, looked pretty and seem detached from those who aren’t as pretty as her. And eat people of course. I did wonder why Jennifer felt the need to go through the trouble of seducing the boys before actually eating them. She’s lured them there already, so just eat them and be done with it. But she has to tease them and rub on them while giving them NOTHING and then eating them. That’s not cool Jennifer.

Jennifer’s body isn’t a terrible movie and it even has its occasional moment of filmmaking ingenuity… a little something that was completely missing in ‘Sorority Row’ which I saw the week before, but at the end of the day it was still painfully average.

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