“Imagine Me & You” is a marginally-acted, loosely-scripted romantic comedy, with unrealistic characters and a plot with extra-cheese. The only thing even remotely different or interesting about this movie is that, instead of a “he loves her, but she loves him”, it’s a “he loves her but she loves another her”. In fact, if the love-triangle hadn’t involved a bisexual/lesbian twist, it would be hard to imagine that this movie ever would have been made. 

Meet the girl, Rachel (played by Piper Perabo, most notably from “Cheaper by the Dozen”). She’s is a not-cute-not-ugly woman who keeps telling herself that she has it all and should happy with life, yet knows deep down that she is discontent and in need of something else. Not that you can actually see or feel any of her angst, it’s just that she keeps telling you how disaffected she is, over and over again. Now meet the boy, a handsome bloke named Heck (Matthew Goode, most notably from “Chasing Liberty”). Heck’s a sappy way-too-good guy, the kind of “good guy” deserving of a good stomping by a heartless and conniving woman. The film opens at Rachel’s and Heck’s wedding. Heck has unbounded enthusiasm for this day, whereas Rachel has cold-feet. In fact, on her way down the aisle, Rachel notices Luce (the florist for the wedding, played by Lena Headey, most recently from “The Cave”) out of the corner of her eye, and falls quickly in love with her. Rachel goes through with the wedding, but she just can’t seem to leave Luce alone. The newlyweds grow apart, as the Rachel and Luce grow closer together, all under Heck’s nose. And all Heck seems to be willing to do is declare his undying love and devotion for Rachel over and over again, in some of the sorriest sappiest lines ever. A guy that far gone probably deserves to get

stomped like this, as his wife goes lesbo. Nonetheless, I have no interest in watching this, get me out of here! 

The only thing that makes this movie even remotely tolerable are some of the performances by the ancillary characters. Rachel’s parents and little sister, plus Heck’s best friend Coop, are the sole providers of the “comedy” in this movie, but they are not even close to being enough to keep this movie afloat.  I wouldn’t watch this movie if it were shown on Lifetime or Oxygen, so how could I possibly recommend it to you? The answer is: I can’t.