Reviewed by

Christopher Armstead

And here goes another one. Recently I commented in a review of ‘Who’s Your Caddy’ that though movie is rated as or near the worst movie ever on the IMBD user ranking system, I’ve seen hundreds upon hundreds of films that are far worse than that one. And here goes another one. As a matter of fact from this point on, if I watch a movie that I deem worse than ‘Who’s Your Caddy’ I’m going to start that review with the words ‘And Here Goes Another One’.

In this particular film, Patrick Censoplano who looks like Michael Imperioli’s younger starving brother plays Silver, a young man who cannot get laid. He has a girlfriend who won’t give it up to him in Sheila (Trish Cohen) who he manages to get alone in his older buddies apartment, but once Sheila finds out that Silver wants to have sex she wants nothing to do with him anymore. What a shock. A teenage boy who wants to have sexual relations with his big breasted, scantily clad teenaged girlfriend. What a cad. The girls next stop should probably be to a convent. Crushed that he has no opportunity to use the condoms that he has brought for his hoped for special occasion, he decides to throw them away, but not after opening it for whatever reason and finding out that the condom is the size of a stocking. Believe me when I tell you that there is not enough blood in the body of any man alive that could support what it would take to fill this condom. Well, as it tends to happen in madcap comedies such as this one, Silver’s mom finds the disposed condom and fears that her poor son is just too big to have a normal relationship with a woman and of course confides in her buddy, because what mother wouldn’t talk amongst her friends about their child’s penis size?

Naturally word gets out about Silver’s abnormal gifts and soon women from all over are interested in giving it a go. One in particular though manages to win the ‘prize’ so to speak in older diva (or ‘Cougar’ as the term seems to be nowadays) Mercy, as played by Cheryl Dent, who lives in a mansion and has taken the teenager under her

wing to teach him the ways of love, though the fact that he doesn’t have a 22-inch penis doesn’t seem to faze her much. Alas, despite this new sudden rush of plentiful, albeit complicated sex thrills, little Silver finds he is still in love with Sheila who wont even return his calls, plus the women keep coming on to him to give his monster a try. What is a deformed teenager to do?

‘Gettin’ It’ sucks seven ways to Thursday. Now I don’t exactly what that’s supposed to mean but I’ve heard old people use the term before so it must mean something. Writer / Director Nick Gaitatjis has crafted a film which is just plain weird on top of lacking humor and entertainment value. Just starting with the basics here, the acting in ‘Gettin’ It’ is a bit amateurish with most of the cast believing that yelling your lines is best way to get your point across. Ironically, the best job in acting and the only funny character was Salvatore Crivelo who plays Silver’s dad and is a bad actor playing a man who wants to be actor but can’t act. That was funny. He was funny. The humor was mostly forced and most of gags that were supposed to play out for big laughs fell flat, but it still did manage to squeeze out a chuckle hear and there.

But the narrative itself was this films biggest failing. First off, I couldn’t for the life of me figure out why the character of Silver kept longing for this Sheila character despite the fact she dumped him unceremoniously and then started dating his most hated rival. Let it go. Then of course the rub is the whole big dick thing, which while at the heart of what this story was supposed to be about was really just kind of glossed over. Here we have some big dick joke, and there we’ve forgotten about it only to have it pop up again, only to forget about it again. Truth be told, they could have left that whole plot device out of the flick and it wouldn’t have been any worse for the wear. Then there was poor Jessica Canseco, ex wife of steroid infested baseball player Jose Canseco who existed in this film only to flash her bulbous silicone tits at the camera here and there. There was a particularly sad scene in the ‘making of’ on the DVD where they showed this poor woman, topless on a ladder, doing the same thing over and over for what looked to be nine or ten hours. Yes, she’s probably is neither worthy of nor does she want my pity, but this poor girl just wants to be an actress and they have her on roller blades flashing her tits at cars.

And here goes another movie that is way way worse that ‘Who’s Your Caddy’, a list that's sure to grow seven ways to Sunday.

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