Reviewed by

Christopher Armstead

I’m fairly certain that if I had been born with a vagina, I probably would have enjoyed ‘The Family Stone’ a whole lot more than I did.  But not to worry, I did feel one beginning to grow while watching this garbage. 

The Family Stone is about an eclectic, extremely liberal family with the sir name of Stone getting ready for the holidays.  The mother, played by Diane Keaton, is harboring a secret that she is hiding from the family while awaiting her children to arrive for Christmas.  In particular, her son Everett played by Dermot Mulroney who is bringing home his girl friend Meredith played by Sex in the City’s Sarah Jessica Parker.  Meredith is nervous about meeting the Stone’s, convinced that they won’t liker her.  Why?  Because she’s the most uptight, nervous, tic-ridden, unpleasant person on the planet, with a penchant for saying the wrong things at wrong time, all the time.  And sure enough, the Stones hate her.  Hell, I hate her too, but I hate the Stones as well.  Too be so liberal, the mother actually says that she wished all of her boys were gay so that they would never leave her, They never give the poor shrew a chance.  One of the disappointing things about ‘The Family Stone’ is that it’s painfully predictable.  If you’ve watched Lifetime or LMN for any extended period of time you’ve seen this film over and over again.  But on the off chance your going out to see this, it may not be predictable for you so I won’t spoil anything.  But there was one scene that bugged me a little.  One of the Stone children is a gay and deaf, thus the family signs throughout the movie.  He’s married to a very lovely African American man.  During one dinner Meredith drops a boatload of politically incorrect racial gay

handy-capable bombs that gets everyone’s panties in a bunch, Including mine, which I now wear because of this flick.  But our gay deaf son in the interracial gay relationship is particularly distraught.  So much so that his mom has to console him and insure him the he’s okay.  Apparently, the gay, deaf dude who having sex with a black guy has NEVER experienced any kind of discrimination until that day at dinner.  I wish I had gone to his high school.


Then after all has been said and misunderstood, the prerequisite wackiness and mayhem must ensue with slippin’ and fallin’ and cussin’ and trippin’… until everything wraps itself in a nice little bow in the end.  

Had this family member been stoned, ‘The Family Stone’ may have been more tolerable.  I pronounce ‘The Family Stone’ GUILTY!  Don’t waste your dime as I’ve wasted enough for the both of us.

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