Reviewed by

Christopher Armstead

The trailer for ‘Werewolf: The Devil’s Hound’ is pretty kick ass. I’m sitting around getting ready to watch Samantha Mumba in ‘Boy Eats Girl’ when, as anyone who has ever watched a Lionsgate horror flick well knows, I’m assaulted by the Lionsgate Trailer Attack. At least, unlike some distribution houses, Lionsgate does give us the freedom to skip through them, though I do watch some, and one of these was the trailer for this movie. After it finishes I’m thinking to myself ‘that was a fairly well done trailer… too bad the movie sucks total ass'. You see I’d already seen ‘Werewolf: The Devil’s Hound’ which made me admire the dude that the cut trailer all the more because had I not already been subjected to this thing, his skill as a cutter would have made me put this film at number one in my cue. Better still is that this cat has crafted a trailer that’s gonna look great on my TV show ‘Totally Twisted Flix’ – I love you unknown trailer cutting dude.

Our film opens somewhere in Germany, which looks suspiciously like somewhere in New Jersey, where some old German dude has dispatched his son and some of his soon to die assistants to help retrieve his daughter, who has now become a werewolf and is out and about playing in the woods. Sure enough, being a werewolf of the angry variety, she brutally murders the assistants before her family members put an instant knock out dart in her ass, box girlfriend up and then Fed-Ex her over to somewhere in Connecticut for some de-werewolfization treatments or something. I mean they seriously used Fed Ex or UPS or something because, as it so happens, there was a mix-up in the shipment where Movie Special effects dude Phil Madden (Phil Gauvin) gets a box full of sedated werewolf instead of his special order fireworks. They don’t know this yet and place the box in the back somewhere and go on about their lives in this family run business that is also run by Phil’s son Kevin (Michael Dionne) and Kevin’s wife Char (Tamara Malawitz).

Eventually our werewolf wakes up and busts out of her box, which had me wondering how much bubblewrap you gotta stick in a box to safely secure a werewolf, and gets to the business of killing people. She also manages to bite Kevin which at first has some wonderful side effects like fixing his astigmatism and making him perform like porn star in the sack, but there are a few other little the nasty little side effects such as the excess hair problem or those glowing green eyes, not to mention that hankering for human flesh. To make matters worse the human version of this werewolf, now calling herself Christine (Christy O. Cianci), has show up on the scene and has decided that Kevin needs be her man so that they can populate the world with little werewolf pups. Sure Kevin already has a cute little wife, but that’s a situation that can be quickly rectified. Now back in werewolf form Christine is determined to kill every freaking body, Char in particular, that is until Christine’s father and brother come along, with a guest werewolf hunter by their side determined to stop her reign of terror. We might also want to mention that Kevin’s Mom (Jennifer Marsala) has a few things up her sleeve as well to stop this werewolf terror. Good luck with that.

‘Werewolf: The Devil’s Hound’ really wasn’t all THAT bad as I was probably being a little too harsh on it earlier, but I will admit had I seen the trailer first and THEN seen the movie, I’d be PISSED! The trailer would have you believe that ‘Devil’s Hound’ is a non-stop, action filled, balls to the wall werewolf slay fest, when it’s really nothing of the sort, not that the filmmakers had anything to do with the trailer. Thanks Lionsgate. This would be my problem with this movie in that I don’t know really what it wants to be. The movie starts out as a fairly straight forward werewolf movie with the full moon, the occasional ripping of flesh and stuff like that, then by the end, particularly with introduction of the werewolf hunter character, this thing turned into slapstick comedy with pratfalls and robotic ducks or clowns or something. Apparently this werewolf maintains no human intelligence since she couldn’t discern that she was battling a robotic duck. Or Clown. I can’t remember. Now either the movie was trying to be funny from the get go and the first half humor was so sophisticated that it went over my head, or co-writers and co-directors Gregory C. Parker and Christian Pindar ignored every basic rule of story telling and decided to go for broke thinking half ‘The Howling’ and half ‘Teen Wolf Two’ was going to work. Or perhaps since there’s two of these dudes maybe one of them wanted a serious movie and the other wanted a comedy. Either way it was a bad decision fellas.

The acting was slightly above amateurish, the special effects consisted of a lot of crazy camera tricks and the always wonderful ‘werewolf vision’ and the ending was something out of Dr. Who. There was some good in that some of the humor actually was funny, even if it probably shouldn’t have been in the movie, and everybody involved with the movie seems like they were really nice and pleasant people and had a good time making this movie.

But of course the fact they seem to have a good time making it doesn’t mean we had a good time watching it. Just some advice if you want to watch this movie, just don’t watch the trailer first because I can pretty much guarantee you that you’re gonna be PISSED!

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