Reviewed by

Christopher Armstead

Thank you ‘Date Movie’.  While watching ‘The Pink Panther’ I was a little dismayed that my humor hadn’t evolved to the point that a lot of slapstick shenanigans that were taking place in that film were still making me laugh.  But after witnessing the one car vehicle wreck that is ‘Date Movie’, I now realize that The Pink Panther was simply funny.  And date movie is simply not funny.  My ever-evolving humanity is safe.  It’s not that it didn’t try.  Oh, did it ever try.  But it just couldn’t pull it off.  Not even a little bit. 


A few years ago, some friends from the job went to a local comedy club on open mike night to see a colleague, who was a really funny guy in general conversation, give it a try at standup.  So we sat there and watched this poor guy struggle, throwing failed joke after failed joke at a stone silent audience.  It was embarrassing and uncomfortable.  Date movie is THAT guy. 

Date Movie proposes to be the ‘Scary Movie’ of romantic comedies, which should lend itself to quite a bit of spoofing since there are so many of those beast out there to make fun of.  Hell, Scary Movie was barely the Scary Movie of scary movies.  Buffy the Vampire Slayer’s Alyson Hannigan stars as 397 pound Julie Jones who is looking for her true love.  She finds him in some British dude played by Adam Campbell, but she doesn’t know how to go about reeling in her potential catch.  Thus she turns to a Black midget Hitch played by the far more offensive than funny Tony Cox who pimps her body resulting in her looking more like the Band Camp chick and less like Gwenneth Paltrow in ‘Shallow Hal’.  From here, hilarity, zaniness and mayhem shall ensue.  At least in theory.  One example would be the cat defecating on the john

scene, lifted from ‘Meet the Fockers’.  The young man walks in the bathroom while a flagellant cat is taking a squat dropping off what appears to be a large load.  I would call this a spoiler, but it’s in the trailer, as are all of the marginal jokes.  Maybe it could have been funny for the first 10 seconds, but the creators had the logic, that if it’s funny in the first ten seconds, then if we make it ten times longer, then it will be ten times as funny!  Harharhar!  No gentlemen, it becomes ten times more tiring.  And this goes on throughout the movie as marginally amusing jokes are stretched to the point leaving you to wonder why you were laughing in the first place.  Not that the flick is completely empty of laughs, but an episode of CSI has a couple of laughs too.


But don’t let me stop you!  If your idea of humor is poorly executed fat jokes, fart jokes, pedophilia jokes, cats licking corpses and French kissing octogenarians, the RUN don’t walk to ‘Date Movie’.  I’ll get my laughs from ‘Law and Order’.


Buds Second: Unfortunately, I have to second Chris' opinion. I wanted to like this movie, I really did. But it simply wouldn't let me. The fact is, this was the worst movie I have seen in a while.  Seriously, Chris' review above was funnier than the movie itself. For real.


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