Reviewed By

Christopher Armstead
I have been slacking in my duties and as such it has been a while since I watched some quality smut.  We do dedicate a good portion of our time here at the FCU to watching exploitation films, but the spate of movies in the genre we've recently seen have focused more on plot than exploitation.  The absolute nerve!  Save us noted smutty film director Chang Lee Sun!  Uh… I mean Joe D'Amato!  Chang Lee Sun… seriously Joe?  I mean seriously?  Regardless of all of that, Today Chang Lee has given us his completely nonsensical, totally smutty exploitation epic 'Chinese Kamasutra'.

Joan Parker, as played by the exquisite, lean and long legged Georgia Emerald, is an uptight librarian in China completing her doctoral thesis.  Please note that this is Georgia Emerald's only listed credit and while one would think that a woman that looked like this, on top of apparently being completely shameless, would find all kinds of work in this genre for years to come, since this didn't happen we tend to believe she was doing this exploitation movie to pay off some of her old man's gambling debts.  Anyway, Joan was doing some book filing when she stumbled upon one interesting novella calling itself the Chinese Kamasutra, filled to the brim with amateurish drawings that basically equated to glorified stick figures having sex.   Apparently Joan is sensitive to this kind of thing so she takes the book home to investigate it further.   Next door to Joan is an abandoned house, allegedly, where some strange dude is always looking out the window at her, this has Joan a little concerned, especially since she's the only one that can see him.

Summoned by a strange force, Joan ventures to the house and meets this strange dude who worships at the altar of The Large Dildo.  I kid you not, this cat prays to dildos.  He has a table that a large dildo sticks out of and quite often we'll see him sitting cross legged while
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praying on that table, but we don't see dildo, thus we must assume the worst as to this dildos current location.  It seems in a previous life Joan belonged to this man, but alas Joan was a bit of whore in this previous life and was instead engaged in activity with some other guy, who happens to look just like her colleague at the library who also happens to lust after her.

What we will see next is Joan wearing next to nothing, being taken to the dildo altar, then wearing nothing, then being massaged all over by a bunch of naked Asian women, then the weird dude showing up, then a close-up shot of a stunt vagina.  And we will repeat this process over and over again.  Until Joan comes out of her coma or whatever, hell if I know, and starts making out with her colleague at the library.  Roll credits.

Joe… Joe… Joe… what are we ever to do with you?  At this point in the game, Joe being in the dirt for a good fourteen years as of this writing, one would think that the man couldn't surprise me anymore with his outright refusal to tell a coherent story in his movies.  True enough, I've seen a number of Joe's films but this one here was even more slipshod than most of his pure porno joints, at least as far as a narrative is concerned. 

I guess the real question is 'Should we be cueing up movies by Chang Lee Sun in the hope of seeing some kind coherent story telling?'  Why yes, we should.  I might cherish Uncle Joe and all that he has done for us smutty cinematic watchers over his long career, but we still can't take him off the hook for this.

Thus in the absence of a narrative, lousy acting and horrible voice dubbing, 'Chinese Kamasutra' seems to only exist as a showcase for the lovely Georgia Emerald.  Now in that regard 'Chinese Kamasutra' is smashing success.  Looking at Georgia, and you will be looking at Georgia an awful lot if you choose to watch this movie, which we can't honestly recommend with a clear conscious, you will see one finely sculpted, very fit, long legged, shapely woman with any deficiencies she might've had before coming into this movie being fixed under the scalpel of some skilled plastic surgeon.  Georgia does naked very well.  Again, we are somewhat curious why a woman who looks like this, in this kind of movie, has this as her only role when I would think exploitation directors of the day would be falling all over themselves to cast her, but we will get no answers as Joe is gone and Georgia is somewhere in hiding, hoping like hell her kids never find this movie. 

Like the amazing Sharon Leslie who was in 'Black Emanuelle 2' and nothing else, and as bad as this movie is, and believe me when I tell you that it is summarily, completely awful, unfortunately if you want to see Georgia Emerald in anything you're kind of stuck with this movie.  Thus the question is now 'How badly do you wish to see Georgia Emerald in motion?'  At your own risk my friends.
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