Reviewed by

Christopher Armstead

I am a big fan of Albert Pyun - the man. I don’t know this guy, but I like this guy. With his efforts to independently produce and distribute his films, skirting the corrupt studio system, while also dealing with the oppressive weight of widespread Internet Piracy of films which obviously isn’t helping the bottom line of anybody in the movie business, this man is a true hero of the independent filmmaker. I like Albert Pyun, the man, an awful lot. Pause. Sigh. Exhale. Albert Pyun the filmmaker… Well… did I mention how much I like Albert Pyun - The Man?

Today we are her to discuss Mr. Pyun’s independently produced and distributed crime film ‘Bulletface’. Victoria Maurette is DEA agent Dara Marren who I believe is in Mexico helping her baby brother Bruno (Michael Esparza) traffic whores across the border. She keeps telling Bruno, over and over and over again to be careful because something could go wrong. She says this so often I was really wishing she’d shut up because I get it, something is going to go wrong. Guess what? Something goes wrong, bad guy Eric Muller (Eddie Valez) shoots Dara in the face… thus the term bulletface… then he shoots Bruno, though I’m not entirely sure why he did any of this, then the police come and arrest Dara for her crimes and send her away for a twenty five year stint in a Mexican Prison in return for her brother being set free. In this prison Dara, or rather Dara’s body double, gets raped over and over again by both her male guards and her fellow female inmates. Get used to looking at that. Seriously.

After two straight years of getting unmercifully raped, Dara is slickly released from prison by her boss at The Agency (Steven Bauer) on a temporary basis for like 72 hours to help him put some drug dealers behind bars and also avenge the death of her brother who was shot dead by Muller as retribution for Bruno shooting his brother at a club. Back on the street Dara hooks up with her old crew, simultaneously trying to figure out who killed her brother and also get to the bottom of the new drug that is hitting the street called Red Eyes. There’s been a string of bizarre murders with people getting their spinal fluid stolen and somehow this spinal fluid is going into a new designer drug that give the user super strength, super speed and of course, red eyes.

Eventually girlfriend will find out about the drug dealing, her old crew, the dead brother and her mortal enemies are all connected somehow. A pretty prostitute (Fancia Riasa) that she rescued tells her to walk away, that their karma will catch up with them. Dara informs the girl ‘That she is their karma’. Best line in the movie.

So that’s the story in ‘Bulletface’ and to be honest with you the story isn’t so bad. True enough Victoria Maurette looks to be about 5’2" and might weigh 85 pounds so you may have a problem buying into her being a microscopic ultimate badass, but she does look like she’s been through some stuff and she’s not the problem with this movie either. Eddie Velez and Steven Bauer have been around forever and both probably should’ve been given more to do in this movie since both did what they were given to do quite well, so they weren’t a problem either.

The problem I had with ‘Bulletface’ lies, for one, with the editing. I get that this is a low budget movie shot for a couple hundred grand on a Panasonic camcorder. I get that. But it seems like to make the movie feel more… I don’t know… expensive, I had to endure all of the these quick cuts and splits screens and freeze frames ad infinitum, but for no real purpose other than it could be done. And the music… oh lord… it was so loud and so constant and so oppressive that it conceivably might make your head explode. It might’ve been good music and I have the option of listening to it on my five disc ‘Bulletface’ collection set, available at Albertpyunmovies.com for 14.95 plus shipping and handling, but I was just wishing that our editors would just shut it off, or at least turn it down so I could hear what the actors were trying to say.

I also get that damn good money was paid to have those porn stars fake rape the fake Dara character in this movie, but did I need to see that over and over again? I get that too, prison sucked for Dara. But on the outside if somebody touches Dara, Dara flashbacks to being raped. Somebody brings Dara a drink, Dara flashbacks to being raped. Dara sees a chicken sandwich, Dara flashbacks to being raped. I get it already.

I’ve said it before. I have no idea how to make a movie but I do know how to watch one. And all I wanted out of this one was to see it unencumbered and hear what the actors were trying to say. That’s it, and I didn’t get that. Too much effort was spent trying to cover up a story that I don’t think needed any covering up. Just let the story go on its own power brother. Even if it was the worst story ever told, which it wasn’t, all of the cuts and split screens and freeze frames and loud music wouldn’t have helped make it better. Regardless, go to that website and buy this movie, despite what I may have just said. You don’t have to watch it, but Albert Pyun and filmmakers like Mr. Pyun need our support. Don’t download it, please, just buy it.