Reviewed By

Christopher Armstead
SPOILERS WILL FOLLOW with today's Sci-Fi Original 'Boogeyman' that opens with some text from the book of Genesis with God asking Cain where his brother Abel is.  Of course Cain lies to God, and actually gets down right snippy with The Creator with the classic line 'Am I my brother's keeper?'  We always wondered why Cain was lying to God since he's all knowing and stuff, but Cain clearly wasn't brightest bulb in the box, in addition to his well documented anger management issues.  What does Cain murdering his brother with a big rock have to do with a mysterious creature that hides under beds scaring kids?  I was wondering the same thing and we will get our answers, and these answers are strange.
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Questions abound such as why did Old Man Skinner, who's dead and stuff now, have a monster locked in his attic?  Why indeed.  Investigating the death of Skinner is wise-cracking deputy Michael Samuels (Eddie McClintock), who happens to be the father of these two brats, and his super cute partner Rebecca (Amy Bailey) who by chance happens to be the daughter of Old Man Skinner even though she's keeping that all secretive. 

Regardless of all of that the Boogeyman is completely off the chain with his murdering ways, slashing annoying housewives, toking teenagers, lesbians or whomever happens to have the misfortune of being alive in this town at this point and time.  The odd thing about this Boogeyman is that he really seems to have taken to young Jacob for some reason… but why?  The Chief of Police of Podunk, as played by Emma Samms who at one point in time was in the running for the hottest woman on the planet Earth, not that this has anything to do with anything, needs this serial killer caught and brought to justice.  Like the Boogeyman is going to stand trial or something which isn't going to work since he can walk through walls and stuff.  And he hates cops and authority figures in general I guess, which kind of makes sense when you think about why he is the way he is.  More on that later.  But the Boogeyman wants Jacob, he's invincible, and he's mean.  Can he be stopped?  No he can't, but that doesn't mean his path can't be altered. 

If we start off with a quick summary of what we observed with director Jeffrey Scott Lando's 'Boogeyman', we can say it starts out slow, painfully so, and Eddie McClintock's wisecracking 'Warehouse 13' shtick probably wasn't best suited for the subject matter in this film, but it does pick up as it goes on and actually turns into something that was somewhat watchable, if not ever elevating itself up to something we'd call a good movie or a horror movie that was actually all that scary. 

Now what makes 'Boogeyman' semi interesting was the origin that they dreamed up for this creature, which while plenty wacky, and it did take a virtual eternity to finally get to the brass tacks behind what was going on, but this was still original even in its wackiness.  As it turns out this Boogeyman is actually Cain, yes… Cain.  Which means he's well over ten thousand years old which is probably why he looks so f'd up.  Note that the monster design for the Boogeyman was pretty good.  Cain has a taste for blood… why, I don't know… but Cain also needs a brother to subjugate him since he killed his brother and all back in the day, and he arbitrarily chooses these brothers of his through his own personal weeding out process that I don't understand even a little bit.  We also don't quite understand why Cain likes to hide under beds and hide out in closets but Cain is one strange cat.  And maybe God should step in and stop this guy He cursed to walk the earth from killing us, even though I don't recall God granting Cain immortality.  Regardless, that's not a good look God.  The whole scenario as Cain as the boogeyman probably doesn't work in the grand scheme of things, at least in regards to theme and as a concept that makes any kind of sense, but it was so out there that it does work in the sublime and the bizarre. 

True enough, making heads or tails of the narrative in this version of the tale of the Boogeyman is a challenge, and this movie does take its own sweet time in finding a groove, but it does eventually find this ever elusive groove and this one does have its own wacky appeal which does make it a little different from what we are used to from this genre, and that is a little something that we can appreciate. 
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Some kids are playing football in a field when Isaac (Danny Horn) completely clotheslines his baby brother Jacob (Gabriel Steele), this is followed by Isaac's best friend Franklin the Dick (Ian Redford) taking Jacob's cell phone and throwing it through the attic window of super weird Old Man Skinner.  Now Jacob has to go into this dudes house and get his phone.  Note that this phone looked like a ten dollar Walmart Nokia throwaway, but I guess Jacob really likes that phone.  I mean if it was a Galaxy SIII or something I could halfway justify breaking into a house to retrieve it.  Here's the thing… when Jacob makes it up the stairs
he sees the attic is triple chained shut which is a clear indicator that something is locked inside, but Jacob is clearly an idiot and pulls the chains off with the conveniently located key that was hanging on the door.   Jacob has unwittingly set the Boogeyman free and that's going to be bad for a lot of people in this Midwestern American town that looks a lot like a Bulgarian back lot. 
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