Not that Adam Sandler cares since he makes
enough money from these movies he makes to literally buy his
way into heaven, but he's not getting a lot of love right
now. And rightfully so. I've seen 'Jack and Jill',
those awful 'Grown-Ups', 'That's my Boy'… did I mention I saw
'Jack and Jill'? Really can't stress that one
enough. In fact I've seen every movie Adam Sandler has
ever headlined, except those cartoons. I think I've
mentioned this but I actually own 'Bulletproof' on defunct
HD-DVD. Yes, that disk is sitting under a leg attached
to the kitchen table to keep it level, but I own it
nonetheless. Adam used to be my guy, but he has let me
down so many times in the recent past that I couldn't hold out
much hope for 'Blended', but there I was in the theater, as
usual, watching it. But guess what? While
'Blended' is not a good movie, but at least it's just a
regular bad movie, say like 'Just go with it' or Zohan… which
actually makes it a good Adam Sandler movie. 'Blended'
wasn't actually as funny as 'Just Go With It', but it was a
better movie. If that makes any kind of sense.
Jim (Sandler) is a widower with three girls, Lauren (Drew
Barrymore) is a divorcee with two boys. They've both
been out of the game for a while and have been thrown together
on a blind date which Jim hosts at Hooters. Obviously
they hate each other as there is no comedy to be mined if they
were to actually get along.
Ridiculous situational coincidences
occur which force these two people to keep running into each
other, highlighted by the immensely ridiculous coincidence
that throws these two working class stiffs and their children
on all expense paid luxury vacation to Sun City South
Africa. Wait, I thought we ain't
gonna play Sun City Oh, yeah… Apartheid is over.
My bad Sun City.
You probably realize that this movie isn't
going to take too many chances as a lot of standard stuff
shall happen. Lauren has boys, Lauren is super girly,
but fortunately Jim is all manly and helps the boys where
Lauren or their deadbeat dad simply cannot. Jim has
girls, Jim knows nothing about girls, but Lauren being super
girly can help these girls where Jim simply cannot.
There was this running joke about folks thinking Jim's oldest
daughter Hilary (Bella Thorne) was a boy, which might've been
funny if the kid wasn't so obviously a girl and a very pretty
girl at that, but apparently nobody realized this until she
put on a short skirt.
Not surprisingly the two people who used to hate each other,
because they have nothing in common, find out they actually
have a lot in common. Turns out they don't really hate
other after all, and even the kids who were lukewarm towards
the other kids are now warming up to each other. Love is
abound. Until it cannot be. Until it must
be. Roll credits.
My boy Rolando recently posted on my blog a list of the
leading ladies in Adam Sandler movies ranked by who he thought
was the hottest, and while he… not me… ranked Drew Barrymore
as the least hot, she is the one that works best with Adam
Sandler which is why they've made three movies together.
And I'm sure in the next seven or eight years a fourth will
probably be coming as well. These two have legitimate
chemistry together and if the both of them wanted to take a
pay cut and start working for a living, they could probably
headline a really successful sitcom. Sandler and
Barrymore are one of the things that make 'Blended' a good
Adam Sandler movie, with other things helping such as a group
of kids that are somewhat appealing child actors who don't act
nearly as disrespectful as the movies usually have these kids
behave, some genuine heart and humor, and while some people
might wish Terry Crews would disappear… I'm certainly not one
of those people... every time Terry Crews showed up on
screen, I laughed. He didn't even have to do
anything. That's comic genius right there.
The things that keep 'Blended' from being regular old good
movie include a tired and lazy narrative, overly broad
characterizations, a sentimental tone that is about as subtle
as a meat cleaver to the head, and two hours is a pretty long
running time for a moronic comedy. If the director
wanted to shave a half hour off of this nonsense, I wouldn't
have been upset with him.
But all that being said, 'Blended' was entertaining and kind
of sweet. And it was harmless. Where 'Jack and
Jill' and 'That's my Boy' were harmful. I honestly think
those movies were actually bad for you and could cause you
some physical distress. I'm talking Surgeon General's
Warning bad. Here's hoping this signals the return of
Adam just making regular old entertaining bad movies instead
of potentially dangerous ones.