Reviewed By

Christopher Armstead
Not that Adam Sandler cares since he makes enough money from these movies he makes to literally buy his way into heaven, but he's not getting a lot of love right now.  And rightfully so.  I've seen 'Jack and Jill', those awful 'Grown-Ups', 'That's my Boy'… did I mention I saw 'Jack and Jill'?  Really can't stress that one enough.  In fact I've seen every movie Adam Sandler has ever headlined, except those cartoons.  I think I've mentioned this but I actually own 'Bulletproof' on defunct HD-DVD.  Yes, that disk is sitting under a leg attached to the kitchen table to keep it level, but I own it nonetheless.  Adam used to be my guy, but he has let me down so many times in the recent past that I couldn't hold out much hope for 'Blended', but there I was in the theater, as usual, watching it.  But guess what?  While 'Blended' is not a good movie, but at least it's just a regular bad movie, say like 'Just go with it' or Zohan… which actually makes it a good Adam Sandler movie.  'Blended' wasn't actually as funny as 'Just Go With It', but it was a better movie.  If that makes any kind of sense. 

Jim (Sandler) is a widower with three girls, Lauren (Drew Barrymore) is a divorcee with two boys.  They've both been out of the game for a while and have been thrown together on a blind date which Jim hosts at Hooters.  Obviously they hate each other as there is no comedy to be mined if they were to actually get along.

Ridiculous situational coincidences occur which force these two people to keep running into each other, highlighted by the immensely ridiculous coincidence that throws these two working class stiffs and their children on all expense paid luxury vacation to Sun City South Africa.  Wait, I thought we ain't gonna play Sun City Oh, yeah… Apartheid is over.  My bad Sun City.
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You probably realize that this movie isn't going to take too many chances as a lot of standard stuff shall happen.  Lauren has boys, Lauren is super girly, but fortunately Jim is all manly and helps the boys where Lauren or their deadbeat dad simply cannot.  Jim has girls, Jim knows nothing about girls, but Lauren being super girly can help these girls where Jim simply cannot.  There was this running joke about folks thinking Jim's oldest daughter Hilary (Bella Thorne) was a boy, which might've been funny if the kid wasn't so obviously a girl and a very pretty girl at that, but apparently nobody realized this until she put on a short skirt.

Not surprisingly the two people who used to hate each other, because they have nothing in common, find out they actually have a lot in common.  Turns out they don't really hate other after all, and even the kids who were lukewarm towards the other kids are now warming up to each other.  Love is abound.  Until it cannot be.  Until it must be.  Roll credits.

My boy Rolando recently posted on my blog a list of the leading ladies in Adam Sandler movies ranked by who he thought was the hottest, and while he… not me… ranked Drew Barrymore as the least hot, she is the one that works best with Adam Sandler which is why they've made three movies together.  And I'm sure in the next seven or eight years a fourth will probably be coming as well.  These two have legitimate chemistry together and if the both of them wanted to take a pay cut and start working for a living, they could probably headline a really successful sitcom.  Sandler and Barrymore are one of the things that make 'Blended' a good Adam Sandler movie, with other things helping such as a group of kids that are somewhat appealing child actors who don't act nearly as disrespectful as the movies usually have these kids behave, some genuine heart and humor, and while some people might wish Terry Crews would disappear… I'm certainly not one of those people...  every time Terry Crews showed up on screen, I laughed.  He didn't even have to do anything.  That's comic genius right there.

The things that keep 'Blended' from being regular old good movie include a tired and lazy narrative, overly broad characterizations, a sentimental tone that is about as subtle as a meat cleaver to the head, and two hours is a pretty long running time for a moronic comedy.  If the director wanted to shave a half hour off of this nonsense, I wouldn't have been upset with him.

But all that being said, 'Blended' was entertaining and kind of sweet.  And it was harmless.  Where 'Jack and Jill' and 'That's my Boy' were harmful.  I honestly think those movies were actually bad for you and could cause you some physical distress.  I'm talking Surgeon General's Warning bad.  Here's hoping this signals the return of Adam just making regular old entertaining bad movies instead of potentially dangerous ones.
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