So we have
these humans which turn into unstoppable wolf beasts when
agitated… what do we do with them? Well, if you're
General Monning, you think of a way weaponize it is what you
do. Sure, releasing a beast upon the battle field that
has the viral potential to destroy the entire planet, on top
of infecting the enemy with the same disease, basically
turning them into this weapon might seem suspect, but the
General has mentally ironed out most of the kinks.
Couple of problems with the Generals immediate plans.
One is that he needs patient Zero, that being Donna, so he can
cultivate a potential serum. Then there's Major Hoffman
whose all bleeding heart and stuff and looks like he won't be
on board for the weaponinzing deployment initiative, so he
needs to be eliminated. Also he might have an issue with
the CDC rep Dr. Gordon (Kate Vernon) who also thinks turning
wolf beasts into weapons is a bad idea. Liberals… I tell
you. Know what's a bad idea? Commie
Bastards! That's what!
Bad ideas aside, all hell has broken loose. The Wolf
Beasts are loose in NYC, Donna, Major Hoffman and Dr. Gordon
are free, but are being ruthlessly hunted by the General and
his right hand man Colonel Falcons (Wes Studi), and The
President needs to make damn sure that these beasts don't make
it off of Manhattan Island. Can you say Nuke New
York? We can, and we also think that would've been a
better title. The countdown is on.
Did we enjoy 'Battledogs' here at the FCU? Sure we
did. Why? Well, the snarky answer would be that
compared to its SyFy brethren it didn't suck nearly as hard,
but we're not the snarky types here at the FCU and delve into
complex reasons for the judgments we make. Let's start
with the cast we mentioned, since one of the main complaints
usually levied at these movies is the somewhat shoddy acting…
Bill Duke as the Prez? Come on now, he even quoted Henry
the IV in this. Dennis Haysbert and his deep voice on
one hand making you feel comfortable, compelling you to buy
car insurance, but at the same time disgusting you with his
werewolf weaponizing agenda? Only a solid thespian could
pull that off. And while Craig Sheffer is no Dennis
Haysbert, he held his own. Another thing that tends to
sink these movies is the shoddy CGI. Well… it's not
great, but it is better than usual. Close-Ups of our
battledogs were actually pretty good. Distance shots and
Batttledogs in motion, not so much. Even the helicopter
shots, which we know were mostly CGI were pretty good, and we
had some real world car accidents to deal with, as opposed to
CGI, which we always appreciate.
Other stuff that made 'Battledogs' better than average… You
like gore? Say like beasts ripping out throats, or
soldiers blasting people's heads off? We go it
here. You like action? Be it by air, sea, and
land… we got action almost non-stop in this movie. First
time director Alexander Yellen might not be the second coming
of noted action director Antoine Fuqua, but we have to admit
with the budget limitations I'm sure he was saddled with, he's
off to a solid start.
Naturally the movie isn't a bedrock of common sense, as far as
a narrative is concerned… say like running down a long hall to
deliver a critical, time sensitive message to The President as
opposed to just calling him, in addition to other narrative
oddities. I don't think any official army vehicles would
be Jeep Patriot's and Liberty's, despite their awesomely
patriotic names, I know the General said 'boots on the ground'
is how wars are won, but ground attacks against a legion of
werewolves… that's bad strategy right there. And unless
the Battledogs are long distance swimmers, which they very
well could be, probably don't need to nuke Manhattan to
contain them.
All that aside, we were entertained by 'Battledogs', hugely
so. It's almost a good movie. Almost.
