Reviewed By

Christopher Armstead
Know what's embarrassing?  Sitting around, minding your own damn business watching the bad movies that we like to watch when somebody walks in and asks 'whatcha watching?', and you have to say 'Asian School Girls'.  Which then has to be followed up with, 'It's not what it sounds like'.  Yes, it's exploitative trash, but it's really just a bad action movie and not some kind of strange, fetish softcore porno flick.  Now, thinking about it, that might've have been a better approach to this.

Hannah (Sam Aotaki), May (Catherine Hyein Kim), Vivian (Minnie Scarlet) and Suzy (Belle Hengsathorn) are your four average hot Asian high school students in their mid-twenties who for some reason wear Asian schoolgirl fetish wear to their school, even though it doesn't look like anybody else does.  Odd.

Anyway, Vivian, who is trouble if there ever was trouble, has rounded up some fake ID's for her girls so they can go clubbing this evening.  So our girls get all dressed up in their slut gear, and off they go… we could point out that these grown women playing high school chicks look way more slutty in their fetish schoolgirl outfits than their tight, sexy dresses… but we won't. 

So you know the routine, underage girls see cute guy, cute guy takes them to an out of the way party, girls get drugged, girls get gang raped, girls then get thrown out into the street all used up and stuff.  Now our girls weren't happy with this situation, went to the cops and stuff and talked to Jack the tough cop (Andray Johnson), but no satisfaction is coming their way and they seemed to resolve themselves to the fact they got gang raped and thrown off to the side of the street.  So they've decided to move on.  Except for Suzy who was saving herself for that special person.   Oh well.
Back to the FCU
Let Chris know how Wrong He Is
Don't Be Square...
Like Totally Twisted Flix!

Now our girls are going get revenge, but to do that they need weapons.  But they have no money for weapons.  What's a hot high Asian school chick gonna do to get money?  Why strip of course, silly.  Come on now.  At first they were all reticent and stuff, but then Vivian decided to do an audition.  Not saying much about anything, but after watching Vivian's audition, I'm thinking that actress Minnie Scarlet has done this kind of work at some point in her young life.  Extensively.  The kid might weigh all of 80 pounds, but she does things with that 80 pounds that are fairly amazing.

Regardless of all of that, now our girls have their weapons and now it's time for some revenge.  And more stripping of course.  Supplementing their college funds is the reason they gave.  Now people of suspect constitution are turning up dead and tough cop Jack needs to know who is doing it.  The only info he has on these killers is that they are young, hot, Asian females and that there are three of them.  Jack is baffled at who could be doing this, despite the fact that three young, hot Asian females who just got gang raped where his office a couple of days ago.  Jack says he knows they are amateurs so it won't be long until he catches them.  Jack, brother, I afraid the only amateur seems to be you. 

Problem is that this gang rape thing goes way deeper than girls could ever have dreamed, and they are in way over their heads and it's looking like it's all she wrote… until something completely ridiculous happens and they are all good.  I guess. 

Okay… 'Asian School Girls' is a terrible movie.  It really is awful.  The acting is generally atrocious, the concept of the narrative is insane, the pacing is erratic and the action sequences are mostly laughable.  Eventually I'm going qualify this awfulness with some positives, but continuing on the road of awfulness… is drugging underage girls so they can be gang raped really a viable business model?  Seems like that would be way more trouble than it's worth to me.  This is an awful, awful movie on so many levels… it's almost unbelievable.

But just because 'Asian School Girls' is terrible, doesn't mean that it is unwatchable.  I mean it can be at times, but there is some magic here.  About the time one of girls 'accidently' shot that guy in the temple and the other one 'accidentally' stabbed the other guy in the neck, the movie started to get really funny.  Where else can three high school chicks, in the span of two weeks, go from short plaid skirts to trained strippers / weapons experts / lethal killers / martial artists?  It's an evolution unlike one I've ever seen in cinema.  And if a bad dude has you and your BFF locked in a cage, about to have you subjected to gang rape for the rest of your lives… what do you and your BFF do?  If you said make out… then you deserve a red star!  It is the logical thing to do in that situation.  And Andray Johnson was in this movie and we love actor Andray Johnson here at the FCU as he plays a variation of his cop character in a vast number of these Asylum movies.  The scariest part… or most awesome part of this movie, depending on where you sit, is that at the end there's the threat that there may be more of these with tough cop Jack acting as Charlie to his three Asian Angels.  Would I watch this movie?  Well, it would help if they brought the actress that played Suzy back to life because she was pretty freaking hot… but probably.

Believe me… 'Asian School Girls' is awful.  'Asian School Girls 2', if such a monster happens, will probably be worse, and I can't recommend that anybody go see this… but again, we do search for the positive in these things.
Don't Be Square... Like Totally Twisted Flix!
Real Time Web