Reviewed By

Christopher Armstead
Forgive me, but allow me begin this article by whining like a punk.  You see I read reviews of movies just like you guys, and I'm reading a review of this Asylum joint 'Android Cop' and the dude mentions he got a screener.  I don't get no freaking no screener.  I've been reviewing movies from The Asylum for the better of a decade, not to mention that there's an entire… freaking… page on this website dedicated to ONLY the movies from The Asylum, but do I get a screener?  No I do not.  I gotta pay for this stuff just like you people.  At least those of you who don't steal.   Admittedly, I don't arbitrarily give the majority of the movies from The Asylum high marks, but that could change if I started getting them for free.  Maybe?   Until then, I must stay honest a true, just like I will be honest and true with you on this movie 'Android Cop' which was terrible.  But I kind of liked it anyway.

Hardcore cop Detective Hammond (Michael Jai White) is chasing some criminals in the badlands of Los Angeles, that looks a lot like a paintball field, the same paintball field where they shot The Asylum movie 'Battle of Los Angeles'.  The year is 2040?  I think? And tragically during the chase Hammond's partner is cut down by a malfunctioning machine gun droid which will shape Hammond's negative view of robots forever and ever.

Some more actiony stuff happens, but let's fast forward a bit to Hammond being told by his gruff captain (Steve Tom) that the android that helped him out during the actiony part we skipped over will be his new partner.  Hammond hates robots and stuff.  Andi (Randy Wayne), Hammond will call him for short, seems to be rather small, cute and blondish for an android design, as I would probably design my android cop to be north of 6'5" and a lot tougher looking, but what do I know about android design?
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Anyway, our cops get a mission.  The Mayor (Charles S. Dutton) is looking for his daughter.  She's trapped in the badlands, but here's the kicker… she's an android, but she doesn't know she's an android.  Apparently, due to illness or something, her human consciousness has been transported to an android body while she got well.  Or something.  I can't really remember.  But I do know she's an android and Hammond and Andi have to get her back, problem being she's confused and is working with the Badland rebels against her father.
There are more problems because it would seem this mission is actually a setup, and dirty cop Sgt. Smith (Kadeem Hardison) plans for the mayor's daughter Helen (Larissa Vereza), Hammond, and Andi to die in the badlands for reasons we are not going to get into.  And even if they get out of the badlands, Sgt. Smith has an ace up his sleeve to make sure his evil plan becomes a reality… unless the Android Cop can stop this madness!

Directed by Asylum regular Mark Atkins, who, among others has helmed a couple of the worst movies in The Asylum catalog in the aforementioned 'Battle of Los Angeles' and the completely awful 'Alien Origin', but at least I can say that 'Android Cop' has it all over those movies.  I imagine we are kind of mockbusting the new Robocop movie, but this is more of a buddy cop movie… think Clint Eastwood's 'The Gauntlet' or '16 Blocks' with Bruce Willis meets 'Alien Nation' with a touch of 'Mad Max' mixed in… as we have these two mismatch cops trying to get a helpless soul safe passage through a barrage of bullet filled obstacles in a burnt out, dystopian world. 

With Michael Jai White headlining, and vets Charles S. Dutton and Kadeem Hardison in support, the acting, at least from those three wasn't an issue.  Plus there was action.  Lots of it.  Endless even.  It's not the best action, unless of course it was featuring Michael Jai White kicking somebody in the face, but there were enough car chases, shootouts, shootouts, shootouts, and bad CGI vehicle chases for three movies. 

Were there issues?  Of course there were.  Endless even.  The editing was choppy, and the narrative was jumbled and disjointed, though it did have a bit of a plot twist near the end I didn't see coming, which is always appreciated.  It is nice that the future has seemed to perfect the android to the point you can't really tell them apart from humans, not to mention conscious transfer technology, but one would think that Chrysler would've updated it's Dodge Charger cop cruiser somewhere within the last thirty years.  While White, Dutton and Hardison might be pretty good actors, I don't know about the rest of the cast.  Even though the only real requirement for our Android Cop was to be stiff and unemotional, Randy Wayne didn't pull that seemingly simple task off, compounded with the fact he wasn't really oppressive enough looking for the part.  This is probably where, as a casting guy, I would've gone with some steroided out UFC or WWE guy that can't really act for that part.  Then there's Brazilian actress Larissa Vereza whose IMDB short synopsis of her says she is 'Known for her Brilliant and Profound acting'.   While there are a few things about Ms. Vereza which are certainly profound, mostly having to do with exceptionally favorable genetics, I'm not sure acting is one of them.   And we will let it go at that, if for no other reason than those favorable genetics we just spoke of. 

Taken as a whole, judged against regular competition, 'Android Cop' is terrible.  Placed against the kind of movies we largely watch over here… that we pay for and don't get free screeners of… it wasn't that bad.  As a side note, there was an octoroon reference near the end.  I got that.  Unless you know what an octoroon is, you might not get it. 
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