A better title for this movie would have been ‘Naked women on Display’. Seriously. I can honestly say, without a doubt, that I have never seen as many naked women in any production of any film ever than what was on display in ‘8mm 2’. That includes porn, because porn really doesn’t have a bunch of naked women on display, just a few who are willing to do heaven knows what on camera for little or no money. I thought master auteur Bob Guccione’s ‘Caligula’ had a bunch of naked women in it, but this flick had more. How in the hell did director J.S. Cardone convince all of these women to get naked in this lousy ass movie? Amazing!

So if this movie is called ‘8mm 2’ then there must be an ‘8mm 1’ right? Oh yeah, that Nick Cage flick from some years back that I don’t think too many people went to see and probably didn’t really rate a sequel. But then, this film isn’t a sequel at all. I don’t know what the title of this movie was originally supposed to be, and it could have been ‘Naked women on Display’ for all I know, but I’m pretty sure it only became ‘8mm 2’ after some Sony home video executive sat around his cube wracking his brain on what’s the best way to bring attention to this new hot property his acquisitions department has just purchased. Hell, they could have picked any old Nick Cage movie and slap a 2 on the end of it like ‘Snake Eyes 2’ or ‘Amos and Andrew 2’ or ‘Con Air 2’ as this thing probably has as much in common with those films as it does with the original 8mm.

Anyways, David Huxley (Jonathan Schaech) and Tish Harrington (Lori Huering) are a handsome, engaged couple of upwardly mobiles hanging out in Budapest preparing for their wedding. David is lawyer, what kind of lawyer I can’t tell you because in the opening scene he apparently just got some guy off for some crime he just committed,

but in later scenes he’s poring over oil lease contracts. I’m no law expert, but I think that’s akin to someone being a pediatrician / neurosurgeon or something. Tish is just some wealthy dudes daughter and apparently works out a lot. They’re also kinda freaky, like to fantasize a bit, and screw a lot. During a weekend at a posh little villa, they spy the ridiculously voluptuous Risa (Zita Gorog) swimming au natural in the pool and boy does that get our young freaky dekes blood a boiling. Later that night at a club, Risa shows up and rubs all up on the sensitive Tish and the next thing you know Tish is giving David ‘The best bachelor party’ he’s ever had. Freaky dekey!

After that little threesome party, David is delivered some rather revealing photos of him, his fiancée and Risa and their little tryst and soon these blackmailers want 200g in unmarked loot. David has a career to worry about and Tish’s old man (Bruce Davidson) who already doesn’t like David's working class lack of blue blood democratic leaning ass, decides to take matters into his own hands to find these blackmailers and these pictures. This journey leads David and Tish to the seriously pornographic underbelly of Budapest which, if this movie is true, is completely off the CHAIN! Porn movies every where, girl on girl, mouth on genital, people screwing in the streets, naked women clubs, naked women with huge fake breast masturbating in windows… On and on and on it went. Then all hell breaks loose which leads to the most ridiculous twist in Direct to Video history.

Were I sixteen once again, I would probably give this movie the highest possible rating that my hormone ravaged, life experience deprived little mind could dream of. Alas, sixteen died about the same time ‘Thriller’ dropped out of the top ten so despite the massive amounts of nudity in this non-sequel, I can’t laud too much praise on ‘8mm 2’. The story itself is fairly weak at the start, but only gets weaker as our characters do dumber and dumber things that you would like to think that normal thinking people just wouldn’t do. But then you get the twist at the end which you hope would at least justify some of our characters previous actions, but only serves to render pretty much everything that happened in the last hour and forty five minutes pointless. Now since this thing does run 105 minutes, I would say that it is too long and they could have cut some some stuff out, but they might have cut out naked women, and we can’t very well have that, can we?

The performances of the leads were perfunctory as Schaech and Huering are certainly attractive people with great abs and Ms. Huering certainly wasn’t going let all these European women hog all the nekkidy spotlight, but their abs can’t save the tired narrative, and even a glorified cameo by the great actor Bruce Davidson does little to help the story.

But I kid you not, more naked women than any movie like ever. And not just average naked women either, but some of the best I’m thinking Hungary has to offer. What a casting call that must have been. J.S. Cardone? You may not be much of a film director, but that doesn’t make you any less my hero! And how can I be down?