Reviewed by

Christopher Armstead

SPOILER REVIEW: First of all let me say the game they play in this movie ‘7eventy 5ive’ which they call Seventy Five has got to be simply the lamest party game I’ve ever heard of in my entire life. I hope like hell that this isn’t a game that catches on in any way shape or form because anybody who decides to play it probably does deserve to be hunted down by an ax wielding lunatic. Secondly, though I like Brian Hooks a lot as the man is a decent actor and a trail blazing entertainment entrepreneur, but perhaps he’s just a ‘bit’ too long in the tooth to be playing a college student, unless of course he’s supposed to be a Non-Traditional student, which I don’t think he was supposed to be. He does look younger than his 3hirty 5ive years belie, but not that much younger. I’m just saying is all is all I’m saying. This aside ‘7eveny 5ive’ is a slasher flick that starts out a little on the shaky side but does end decent enough, providing enough of what I’m guessing that lovers of these kinds of flicks have come to expect.

A bunch of children are spending the night at the house of one of their buddies while their parents are downstairs partying up a storm. The kids decide to have some fun making prank phone calls and unfortunately they call the wrong damn house which leads to an ax carrying maniac coming over and slaughtering every single one of their parents, and he would have killed the bratty kids too but the police showed up. Led by Detective Criton (Rutger Hauer) it seems as if this killer never even existed leaving nary a trace of evidence and the case goes cold for years.

Ten years later we meet some dude who is watching porn at his house when he gets an evil call. Turns out it’s these crazy college kids who are at a blowout of a party and instead of playing a cool drinking game which would include the losers taking their clothes off, like the ones I played in college, they are playing Seventy Five, a game that

is ruled by Marcus (Hooks) the head college prankster in residence. Here’s how the game works: call some fool, keep him on the line for 75 seconds while you try to convince him whatever what you are saying is real and if he doesn’t hang up, you win. Great. Anyway, after they get of the phone with the masturbator some dude with an ax shows up at the deviants house and chops his head off.

Let’s meet our victims. In addition to Marcus we have final girl material Karina (Judy Taylor) who is vacillating on getting back together with her cheating boyfriend rich kid Brandon (Jonathan Chase). Her girls Jody (Aimee Garcia) and Roxy (Cherie Johnson) thinks she should kick him to the curb, but Shawn (German Lagaretta) possessing supreme gayness feels she might want to give him another chance. Roxy’s angry boyfriend Kareem (Antwon Tanner) could care less and Marcus’ wimpy buddy Scott (Wil Horneff) is a white guy who just wants to flow hip hop style. To make up for his indiscretions Brandon invites Karina and her crew out to his out of the way palatial estate, where cell phones don’t work too good, for his annual wild party.

Back in the city Detective Criton still hasn’t given up solving this cold case and soon he and his sizzling partner Detective Hastings (Gwendolyn Yao – girl, where did you get those lips?) have discovered that some fiend is murdering the child survivors of that ten year old crime. Also Marcus has unfortunately convinced these party animals to play his lame ass prank call game and sure enough, they call the wrong damn dude. And before you can say ‘Ax to the Spine’ it’s time for some old head non-traditional college students to start brutally biting the dust. Somebody has got to stop this dude, but not before we find out who’s doing the killing and why.

First of all we have a Kyle Turley sighting in this flick. In case you don’t know Kyle Turley is a borderline psychopathic NFL offensive lineman who was born to be an unstoppable crazed serial killer. Inspired Casting. There are some problems with this movie with probably the number one issue being that most of the characters in this thing were so incredibly unlikable that you kind of find yourself rooting for the axe wielding maniac on more than one occasion. So it turns out that Marcus is one of the surviving kids from that fateful day 10 years prior and yet he still plays stupid prank call games, knowing full well that this is what got his parents slaughtered? Again once our killer starts explaining himself to us, I’m kind of on his side and can see his point. Brian Hooks, who co-directed with Deon Taylor, has to be asked why there weren’t more NAKED PEOPLE in this movie? You guys cast some of the hottest ladies around, most in their thirties by the way, and yet we only got a brief glimpse of an extra’s boobie and lots of folks have fully clothed sex. What’s up with that? I should say that I think the average age of these ‘college students’ was like 33 so no child work laws were being violated in this film. And why oh why did you have to do actress Denise Lawton like you did? She’s far to fine to be killed in such a horrible way.

Those quibbles aside ‘7eventy 5ive’ is a decent enough slasher film, and though it adds nothing new to the genre, it does deliver on dudes getting messed up in the most horrible ways. There were also a few little clever things that took place during the narrative which sort of hinted to our ‘twist’ at the end that was kind of cool and the blood splatter was a plenty. Hooks and Taylor keeps this flick humming at a decent pace and it is a very nice looking film, and it is possible that these unlikable characters are by design because it would be unique to actually root for the unstoppable lunatic a change.

Sure it’s not the most original picture in the world, and yeah it sure could used a few extra boobies (not that we support such things) and I don’t hate myself after watching it and quite honestly those kids have been in college way too long and probably deserved to die anyway.

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