Reviewed by

Christopher Armstead

It’s not ‘11-11-11’, it’s ‘11/11/11’.  Of course ‘11-11-11’ is ‘Saw’ director Darren Lynn Bousman’s biblical apocalyptic thriller that was released on November 11th, 2011… and really wasn’t all that good to be completely honest you… where ‘11/11/11’ is The Asylum’s take on this same date, which also has some devil stuff associated with it… and it’s not all that good either.  But I will absolve the Asylum from the term Mockbuster, since to Mock a Blockbuster, the film being mocked has to actually be a Blockbuster I think, and ‘11-11-11’ was no blockbuster.  Shoot, ‘11/11/11’ is actually better in some ways.  Not in all ways, but in some ways.

Our film starts at a going away party, and it was looking like a pretty good party with the champagne flowing, the hors d’oeurves being served up, and the occasional hot chick floating around… until folks started getting murdered to death.  What’s up with that?  I’m not sure that the filmmakers ever told me what was up with that.  They might’ve, but I sure don’t remember.

If I’m not mistaken, one of the people at this shindig was some college professor, and now there’s an opening at this school which is filled by Dr. Jake Vales (John Bridell) who has moved into town with his wife Melissa (Erin Coker) and his ten year old son Nat (Hayden Byerly).  It’s all good, outside of the fact that Nat is really weird and doesn’t say anything, and that their new neighbor Miss Annie (Madonna Magee) is even weirder and talks way too much.  The house that the Vales have moved into is kind of strange too, since it has these odd scratches in the wall that the real-estate agent blamed on raccoons.  Man, that is one helluva coon, I tell you.   I can guarantee you that I’m not living anywhere near a place where there are coons that could do that.  Actually it’s six slashes with equates to six ones.  Or 3 sets of eleven.  Or two sets of one hundred and eleven.

The weirdness takes off almost immediately, such as the crazy old Miss Annie who keeps trying to lure Nat over to her house like a deranged pedophile, the other weird neighbors, the weird janitor, the guy that was going fix the scratches until he saw

the scratches and ran into the street like an idiot, the wasps, and the evil numerology children’s book that these weird neighbors gave Nat as a birthday gift.  It’s November 8th, Nat was born on the 11th in the year of 2000 which means he will be eleven on 11/11/11 and the time of 11:11 I’m betting something real bad is gonna happen.

By now things are really messed up in the household as Mrs. Vale has fallen deathly ill, in addition to being pregnant, and has a nurse that injects her with stuff unknown on a daily basis.  In front of her husband.  Young Nat also has a new murderous nanny (Aurelia Sheppers) who scratches numerology into Nat’s skin and reads him devil books.  In front of his father.  Just so you know, Jack is close to the dumbest mofo on the planet Earth.  

Crazy old Annie knows what’s going down on 11/11/11 at 11:11, and she’s trying to do what she can to stop it, but Jack is oblivious… until it become kinda clear that his baby boy just might be Satan.  And it wasn’t when he stabbed his mom in the ribcage with a butcher knife.  Nope.  Long after that.  Jack… you’re killing me over here.

One of my complaints about the bigger ‘11-11-11’ was that it consisted of just mindless jump scare after mindless, baseless jump scare.  Now we’re going to whine on the other end of the spectrum as ‘11/11/11’ was almost completely devoid of scares.  The atmosphere that director Keith Allen created was pretty good, and there were ample opportunities for something to jump out and grab you, startle you up a bit, but it didn’t happen in this horror movie, and if it did it was pulled off so ineffectively that I didn’t notice it when it did happen.  Thus in the absence of being frightened, or taken out of our comfort zone, we’re kind of stuck just watching Jack do dumb stuff, which was a little entertaining in its own way.  After a period of time a sensible person, one who is not in a horror movie, would’ve packed up the family and got on out of there.  Maybe after the scratches on the wall started bleeding.  Maybe after the third person that stopped by his house to talk to him got themselves murdered.  Maybe after he saw the bloody demon claw on the wall.  Maybe he should get a second opinion, since the first doctor insists on giving his pregnant wife debilitating sedatives that turns her skin pasty white and gives her wild hallucinations.  Which aren’t hallucinations.  We also enjoyed the neighbor devil minions and their devil prayer.  Listening to their prose as these clowns renounced God and Jesus was something else, and truly took some creativity to write.  Devil worshippers the world over, inspired by what these loons had to say, may be using this as their own version of the Lord’s Prayer from now on. 

‘11/11/11’ wasn’t scary… at all… it had some stupid characters doing plenty of stupid stuff and our evil little boy wasn’t one the best child actors we’d seen which is probably why he was limited to about ten words in this movie, even though he did look pretty creepy.  But the other actors, particularly crazy Miss Annie did solid work and the movie did find a way to entertain, albeit through comedic nonsense.  That ‘11-11-11’ movie can’t even claim that, and it had one hundred and eleven times the budget. 

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